wake up and face the truth beybee

alright, i'll definitely finish resume, cover letter, and whatsoever shits that need to be used for applying jobs as an engineer by tomorrow. no more delay. no more excuse. no more laziness. no more procrastination, no more rice worm, no more .... =)

get ready for interview, get ready for working, yea.. i wanna work outside MIRI weyyyy...!! god bless me ..

...

he said he felt touched to receive McD dinner from me. to be frank, i'm pretty sad to hear about this. throughout these years, what have i actually done for you? nothing. nothing. not even a single little thing i can recall from my mind. is thinking how am i going to celebrate anniversary with you. but i've no idea totally. sighs. everything will be easier if i were a boy....

just ignore me.

blahhh... night!

=)

hmp, it has been so many years since i last straighten my hair. more than 4 years i think. and so, today i went saloon and got my hair done. unfortunately, i keep telling myself that i'll not try to do this once again during these processes. com'on, it was like living in bloody hell every second. so pain. and still pain. body pain. legs pain. hands pain. head pain. hair pain. why, why, why, why we must suffer so much before get everything done! darn. well, i got a very funny fringe again. please grow longer faster wey.....

yet, 've got piona structure in black as Christmas gift. specially thanks to my beloved Santa bf. LOLLL~

the last week of 2010.. hmmm...

can somebody tell me when do i apply for Schlumberger. or somebody help me to APPLY? received an email from the recruiting team 莫名其妙-ly and be told that i was not employed. so curious. never apply any company yet. and Schlumberger rejected me already. damn!

=.=

戒不了

下雨天 离开的这一天
一个人 大步走在购物中心
很软弱 却故作坚强
越是没自信 越是装得很自信
没心情 却假装投入看着旅行用品
才明白 会冷的地方 都是有钱人的玩意儿

附在窗外的雨珠 都是累积的思念
一口口的吸进最爱的 ice-blended chocolate cream chip
一边翻阅了两本杂志
我想 路过的陌生人 都用很异样的眼光观察这个怪怪的女生
没理会加注在身上的任何意见和评语
很冷 很冷 只想一个人 一个人
好好地喝完最爱的 guilty pleasure
那个我想念的 guilty pleasure
倪是我的唯一 但我却不能成为倪的唯一

会努力喝完十二杯 累计十二个印章
兑换本子 然后 我会忘记倪
忘记倪的味道 忘记倪的甜味 忘记倪给的一切
开玩笑，

我一点都不想戒掉倪

omg, love my pinky lenses
:p

不相信 这都是命运的安排
只相信 命运要玩残我
明明是个6 却看出个9
明明是双6双8 却看出三个6一个8
就算斗不过命运 我也不会认输的
等着瞧吧！

:D

很多年前 还记得 望着姐姐们挂在墙上的毕业照 心里一直在想 我会不会是哪个最没出息的 就是读了大学却没本事毕业的那个。真的，我都很佩服哥哥姐姐们。哥哥虽然不读大学，至少创出自己的事业，供车供店供房子，姐姐们毕业了，都没我懦弱，自己赚钱，然后偶尔救济我下。

原来现在我真的毕业了。成绩虽然中下，但也还是毕业了。哈哈哈哈哈。很快我的毕业照就要挂上了哦~~ 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

还有，真的要谢谢我最笨的男朋友。他很笨 我喜欢 :D

说着说着
我们都哭了
:')

老板，明天可以不上班吗？

没有流掉几公升眼泪
所以还是一样没有瘦

本来还要哈拉的
可是一边写一边聊天
聊天多过写写写
聊完了 也忘了要写什么


晚安

sobs
my eyes

=)

seriously, i wanna work offshore.
not all because of the high pay.
i just want try something which i never try before.
=)
they said i'll regret. they said it's difficult. they said all bad things about offshore.
i don't care. at least let me try once.
:)

but which company is going to hire me?
halliburton?
schlumberger?

nah....
they're famous and well-established companies.
i'm just... nothing

星期三

越刻意想忘记
越是忘不掉

没有很刻意
只是很想要
所以忘不了
哈哈哈哈哈

好啦
我一点都不想忘记
那些都是
很好的回忆
很好的经验

我很开心
我很好

只是原来每天见面很腻
真的见到想吐血了
也许我们都是向往自由的两个人
没什么
我只是无聊透了

原来当花瓶
也是一种很辛苦的工作

不要再说花瓶 是没用的！！

=)

终有一天
会习惯
=)

依然是optimist啦~~~

忽然伤心了两秒
没什么
只是我太傻
没什么
只是喜欢傻

没什么
以后不会傻了啦~~~

:D

happy? sad?

do not know what should i feel now.
happy or sad?
hmmm...
4 years.
times flies.

without you guys, there's without me here.


thanks! thanks to the disgusting gurl as well.
=)

are you happy today?

4 days 3 nights road trip with family is finally came to the end. the very first time i found myself love mama's hometown. love the feeling when a big whole family gathers together. met with those cousins that we used to play when we were still a kid but have not met each other for about 10 years or more than that. hahaha.. so feeling is so weird eh....

yay, suddenly no mood to crap. that's all from me!

=)

最可怕的不是孤单

...
是寂寞

bibipupu

a very simple Sunday. it's just like the way i always wanted. spent the whole morning to tidy my comp table and bedroom.. and spent the rest of 12 hours for doing things other than FYP amendment. yet, i'm kinda happy... life's always as simple as that...

and dang dang... i bought this, spent most of my time to glue here and glue there... omg! these nearly drive me to insane because they're really in miniature. and imagine my fingers are kinda large size! >"<
while, the measurements given inside the user manual are totally different from reality. hmmm, still cracking my head to figure out how to make the wineglasses... sighs. as the glue provided is not able to stick the transparent plastic paper. and the cardboard for making the box for displaying the ring is totally not in correct size. argh! and another bunch of flower to go.

alright, i'll be obedient. only come back to this after done with fyp
=)

eeoo

looking back those pics taken in bygone days... yay~ suddenly i miss my long curly hair.. which is highlighted with red color! omg, an impulsion to push me to go saloon and get my hair done once again. i know i'm tedious with my hair now again. alright, i hate it!! hopefully tomorrow when i get up, those evil minds to spend money will be gone, gone, and gone from my brain!!

save... save... be SAVE, YHUI!

the final final exam in Uni life...

so sickening to study those lecture notes. all about memorizing! theory, and everything is theory. i'm getting old and i just can't remember anything. the forward hedging, option hedging, interest rate hedging... com'on i totally don't understand at all eh!!! no solutions for those examples at all! hmp... how to sit for the exam later on? gosh! still alot to go.... ON~

pissed off

mistake

sometime you have to make a big mistake
to figure out
how to make things right.
mistakes are painful
but
they're the only way to find out the reality
...

MACAROONsSs!

=)

green. red. yellow. white. black. blue. orange...
and.. a lot a lot...
i want all these
i don't mind to be fat

=)

i just dono what am i typing about... LoL

ehem...
'people' used to complain that i spend too less time to update my blog recently... and 'people' actually is the one who do not update her blog most of the time. LoL

ehem... actually nothing to blog. somehow i think blogging is kinda boring. perhaps because of my tedious life. alright, i should learn my past experience, try to update a blog a day. lol... and eventually went McD on the second day of its opening. as expected, the place was crowded. this's mirian style i would say. didn't try the drive thru service, just Q in the long Q. first time experience big Mac... nice. guess would be nicer to me if i like beef. and huge fries, cola...

and eventually, my tummy was damn full. i need to lay down to make myself not so 撑~~ LMAO

... and craving for macaroon la.. gonna try the maraconsss from babycakes ♥ sweet shoppe when i'm at kl next year on Feb. wanna wanna buy a box to my honey bee.

=)

have to save from now onward.
am start looking for the day which i wait for so long....
but to achieve these, the first thing must to do is to work hard...
:p
hire me please... if there is any vacancy..
i don't mind to work as any position....

most importantly,
not to spend on unnecessary stuff anymore..
ANYMORE!
=)

yawn.

time flies . and it's less than 2 days to the submission of design project. so little time, yet, so many to be completed. yay, always telling myself not to procrastinate today's work to tomorrow... and tomorrow and tomorrow... and tomorrow... endless tomorrow. eventually, the accumulated tasks are as high as a big mountain when it comes to the submission date. end up with sleepless night. rushing until my ass off. worrying. nervous. this's my style perhaps. never learn the lesson and spend most of my time in regretting. somehow i feel i'm kinda ..hmm..., spending previous time during this peak season updating my blog when everyone is just concentrating their works. yups, life's still go on no matter how much assignments are waiting to be accomplished.

drinking the second cup of coffee, yet they just not able to chase away those drowsiness and sleepiness. hello panda accompanies me to stay up. tables are full of notes, papers, and so to my junk foods. my snacks. those were bought by you... you. it has been a week. i thought, i would not think of you. yay, i've no time to do so. i've no time to listen to your begging. no time to think about anything about you and me. and i suddenly realize how could i treat you like this....

yawn
back to work.
=)

9 journals to study...
hmmmm....
life...

结果 我变成了蘑菇头 好伤心

goals for tomorrow

to finish the process and mechanical designs of minor equipment!
:p
wish me luck for memo 4 feedback tomorrow
god bless
night to you, you, you, and you..

i'm loving it!

was deeply impressed by this product after using twice. this is seriously just way too nice for a lazy girl as me. alright, this product was firstly introduced by my cousin when i attended cousin's wedding some day on June. and i finally bought this a week ago during a day trip to brunei with honey bee and his family. guess i should share my experience on this product with my lovely frens because it's just nice! nice! NICE!

what actually is this? well, it's a kind of wet tissue with function of removing make up. tadaaAaaa.... normally i have to use AT LEAST 3 cottons to wipe off the make up on my face using cleansing milk. and most of the time, i need to wash my face with cleansing foam and then re-remove my make up once again to ensure that those make up are no longer sticking on my face!! hey, it's not only time consuming, wasting money, and actually a very tedious routine! most importantly, the time i usually remove my make up is the moment that i'm kinda sleepy. but with this cleansing wipe, hey hey, i can just finish everything within 1 min. and it's clean, clean, and CLEAN! it's not oily, but give a fresh feeling!

what a great invention to girls!! should try this if you never try before!! :)

alright, it's time to hit the bed!! another brand new hectic and challenging week is coming! god bless me to stay until the last week of the sem! =)

~。~

星期五
忽然和寂寞很靠近
忽然和空虚很亲密
忽然。。。
忽然 需要人陪

如果你了解
你会懂我没有很棒
如果你明白
你会听到我的失望
如果你知道
你会体会我其实假装得好痛
。。。

whooops!

3.53 am
21st Oct 2010
memo 4 is completed
alright, i just simply
do .. do.. do
5 marks & my liver is so hurt
god damn Uni life..

=)

我想我要好好谢谢你的妈妈
没有她 没有你
没有你 我是谁

=)
谢谢你 给了我那么棒的男人

:)

....
我家的大哥
....

=)

不要再否定他了好吗？=)

还记得那一年的新年倒数
一起到夜店狂欢
结果很多人看到我所谓的男友
隔天却说 他很丑

还记得那一年和同学的聚餐
所谓的男友一同去了
结果过后同学告诉我说
他配不起我

还记得刚在一起时
他的名字可以臭到香港去
那些三姑六婆不停在妈妈而边加油加醋
真得很抱歉 要让你们那么操心
不过幸好我从来不是很在乎别人如何评论我
反而说的越难听我越开心

其实爸爸从来也没喜欢过他
我明白 因为爸爸从来不可能会喜欢
女儿的男朋友
任谁也不会喜欢霸占了自己捧在手心当宝贝的小子

其实
一路以来 配不起的人是我 是我配不起他
也许 他很丑 可是你不懂 他多好

你们还可以继续说我差
但不要说我眼光低
不是带个老爸有钱的小子
不是带个大学毕业的小子
不是带个长得好看的小子
不是带个你们觉得条件很好的小子
那又怎样。。。
错了，不是我带他。。。
是他带我，我被带。。。

对我，他是最棒的!!!
虽然有时我还是很怕孩子生下来长得像他。。。
呵呵呵呵呵呵

dilema

feel really bad the moment when i'm short of words to post something here. in fact, i've a lot to share. a lot to talk. a lot to tell. but everything just disappears in the spur of moment when i come to this page. feel like going to sg on the coming Christmas. i always have an impulsion to swaps the maybank online transaction atm card to book the indirect-flight-ticket which cost me about 900 bucks. 900 bucks which is also able to buy a return air ticket to Taiwan. hence, it's time to think twice.

hopefully someday i'll awake from being afraid of traveling alone... hey leo, you should be brave! :D

and i wanna trim my bush hair... i wanna buy a shoes.... i wanna to be who i am

... as simple as that.

break the record

three plates of mussels.
satisfied.
yummmmMMmmm

guilty pleasure~

hmmm...
too much of supper
continuously within these few days

T.T

:D

alright, right here to bull some shit since i've simply and roughly done with my fyp by translating them in a journal paper template. gosh, it's just wasting my time. i would rather spend my time on designing the major and minor equipment for DP. i know i'm a good-for-nothing so just let me to be a good-for-nothing. i'm very FINE with that. i have no motivation, impulsion, interesting and whatsoever to make my research a publish journal currently. so sorry. that's totally your problem to overrate me! :D

remember last saturday sis asked me a very weird question...

Sis:"hey, tell me truly, are you have another bf outside?"
me:"why are you guys saying SO? mum asked me this question past few days also. >.< "
Sis:"coz we found that you always go out on Thursday night, and most importantly, u drive."
me:"com'on, when did i always go out on Thursday night?..."
Sis:"got la got la... we (ah sou, sis, mum... and whoever) notice it long time ago..."
me:" siao~~~"

shooooot~.... is this because of the characteristic of LEO~ which is easily being misunderstood by other? even i'm going out with a guy, it doesn't meaning that he's my bf............ this's already 21st century....

well, there was another so embarrassing moment in my life. it was last sat afternoon.... one of the buttons on my cloth was loosen, probably due to my big boobs, and i was outside. T.T....... then i walked shyly in boulevard to find a new shirt to replace it. urgh~~~ well, the promoter laughed at me when i finished changing my newly bought shirt~~~ argh!!!!!!!

randoms

had a very great days after dp presentation. it was 0% of production on studies, yet, i like these moment. the moment which am waiting for too long....5 years maybe or more than that.. but it's time to wake from all these right now.... am no longer little girl, i'm tough enough to handle all these, to face the truths.

another hectic month, hi, OCT!

because

i'm just no longer who i am....
:'(

是开始
也是结束

哈哈哈

F.M.L

alright, off to bed...

doom life

missing you could turn the pain to pressure
if i knew you were missing me too
...

so...
ugly~
i don't mind to be ugly...

我。我。 我。

。。。
是在期待什么吗？

我。。。
。。。我

blurrrrrr

心里的秘密越多
快乐越少

很冷 很冷
为什么 知道事实的要是我
为什么 接受残酷的又是我
>.<
i'm only human...
i don't really mind if there is fairness to me
what i need is just simple
i just want you to spend some time,
try to stay at my situation
and feel what i felt!

no hatred.
but sadness.

没什么

没什么 只是
最近每天一早翻开报纸
好多好多对新人 共结连理
呵呵

又是结婚的季节

我喜欢你

我喜欢你
因为我可以很丑很丑
架着很丑的眼镜
短裤衬衫人字拖
不在乎别人的眼光
出街约会 也可以很开心

我喜欢你
因为我可以很粗鲁很粗鲁
在车上把脚挂高
屁屁何时任我放
吃饱打嗝随我意

我喜欢你
因为我可以很坏很坏
生气开心有礼物
对不起永远是你的 胜利永远是我的
还有还有 电话一通 你就到

我喜欢你
因为不需要特意掩饰自己
我喜欢你
因为好的坏的你想到的都是我
我喜欢你
因为我喜欢被这样喜欢着

我真的喜欢你 其实是爱自己
狮子座是不会爱别人的
它之所以爱你 是因为它爱自己
因为爱自己 所以我喜欢你
我讨厌自己太爱自己
没有把爱给你

yawn~

slap slap
wake up
:)

胡言乱语

原来 其实 也不过如此
对不起 为了私欲
选择伤害了别人

我很抱歉
对你 对她
对大家

一定是梦
明天醒来就过去了
但梦醒了一次又一次
还是过不去
过不去
。。。

muaks!

0150
13th of September
memo 2 is done!

:D

+_=

如果每一天都是今天
多好
...

when there's oat cracker, there's dp time.

deeply fall in love with oat cracker recently, all because of dp...
the reason is simple - oat cracker is the one and only companion when 'm doing dp in the lab and most importantly, they appease my appetite !!! while another benefits of oat cracker is that it helps for smooth defecation..poo poo. :D
alright, memo 2 is almost there. i love my group members now! i'm not kidding!

:D

+_+

exhausted

can't really imagine what would be happened for memo 3 and memo 4

design project is damn exhausting!

:(

没关系

嘀嗒嘀嗒嘀
窗外的雨声 滴进我的心
窗外的雨滴 滴进我的眼

呼呼呼呼呼
窗外的风声 吹进我的心
窗外的风温 冷进我的心

不停重复的乐曲 不知量力
努力覆盖那悲伤的声音
殊不知
是声音淹没了一切

很累 很冷 所以额外脆弱
如果能有冬眠
那哪天醒来过后
已 雨过天晴

没关系
没关系
就是那样一直重复催眠自己没关系
那就真的会变没关系了
:)

0609

明年今日 景物依旧
却 人事全非
同样的地点 同样的时间
不会出现同样的脸孔 同样的笑声
突然好多心情涌上心头
四个年头 原来可以快得让人窒息
明年今日 各分东西
在不一样的环境 打拼着

忽然有点舍不得
很辛苦的大学
其实是因为想逃避更难过的社会大学

。。。

:)

“有些时候 吃东西不一定是因为肚子饿
就像是呼吸 不代表是想要活着"
....
quoted from old cow vs. tender grass
i like i like i really like movies produced from sing'pore...

sat night, raining night
i was pretty shocked when i knew about what you did
com'on
you're the scum of the society i would say
please just make yourself disappear from now onwards
and stop from creating lotsa problems
for sure, you're the god damn jerk
personally, i felt ashamed for you seriously

i DESPISE you, truly deeply and madly
please just go to the HELL and get burned with the fire.
soon, you'll deserve what you SHOULD deserved!

这样很好

不想变到现在如此无心无力
我想你懂 你懂我有多难过
难过到没心没力去说什么
难过到连提起手机打简讯都不想了
忽然觉得这样很好
真得很好

就是这样一只说很好
那就会真的变很好

happy birthday to malaysia

自小 就被教育爱国情操 傻乎乎以为这片土地很简单
长大以后 才发现其实不是我们不爱自己的国家
而是国家不能接受我们 更何况是来爱我们

五一三事件 更本就无法成为人民 甚至政府官员的警惕
因为人们都犯了大家都会犯的错 那就是忽略历史的重要性
前几天面子书上传了来自Tunku Abdul Rahman 孙女的文章
身在异乡 她说以往她会说自己是马来人
但现在 她会告诉大家她是马来西亚人
*赞* 马来人的骄傲 马来西亚的骄傲！

一个马来西亚的理念很正确 但其实行动起来也不过如此
目前大家都在嘲笑菲力宾的特别没种部队
但其实这个国家的一切也不输于菲国
原来一个马来西亚
就是要区分国小与华小 难道华小是在培育其他国家的栋梁吗？
很可笑 全世界大部分国家承认的独中文凭
仅有它懦弱地说这是不被承认的
过度保护人民 只会造就他们胡言乱语 思想浅断
黄明志 出口辱骂某学校校长的短片 即将受到法律的对待
那为何 那些在面子书上辱骂华人和印度人是 anjing 的马来人却从来没受到这一些所谓煽动种族问题的法律给制裁

因为一开始就没公平过。。。一开始就被繁琐的保护法令维护着
所谓古人签下的教育法令 不过是你们喜欢拿出来说行不得的借口
人是活的 法令是死的 死朝着错误的 那和死人有分别吗？
其实没必要去争什么的。。。
有机会 就离开这里吧
真的
别回来了 别回来报答所谓的祖国了
不是我们叛国 是我们被逼得叛国 是被遗弃了。。。

国庆日
在这季节 好讽刺

你说我在羞辱你
com'on
你也不想想
还不是你曾经所作的一切
让我神经兮兮
还不是那些的过去
造就我患有被害妄想症

随便你想要想什么
因为那都不重要。。。
要不是你
我看不到我的肥蜜蜂
谢谢

:D

mine yours

You are the best thing that's ever been mine...

i hope to be the best thing that's ever been yours as well...

love you

untitled

seriously short of words to express my feeling recently. hmm.. and now i'm short of words again! sighs! free week is never free. i must work hard. work hard. and dream less... god bless me and bless my beloved ones! hi Sunday!

给你们的啦

ehem~

要出来“乔”女生的男生们
如果怕给自己的女朋友知道自己在外面多会“乔”
那就请回家喝老奶
不要出来丢男生们的脸 更不要出来丢人现眼

如果怕她知道 意味着你还很在乎她
那就甘心在家修身养性 不要出来搞三搞四
难道那样伤害来伤害去很过瘾吗？
老天天生让你们拥有两颗蛋
就是要你们把胆拿出来
敢做 却不敢当
哈~ 无耻 无赖 无聊

ma sunday

so so so many things happened within a day! of course including a very happy dating with my man whole day long. went choosing my favorite brand of lappie, but too bad it was only market survey around... blah, most importantly was that no pinky version. urgh~~ i want PINK PINK PINK!!! alright, followed by lunch at the worst japanese restaurant in the city and movie at the one and only cinema in the town~ wEeeEeeE~~yea, nobody knows that i actually only able to "enjoy" all these "privileges" after angry for about 3 days long. darn, nowadays being as a gf is really hard. LoL~~ well, guess the sweetest moment was that when we went into a jewelery shop and choose for our couple rings for engagement!! LoL~ i'm just joking about the engagement.... awWwwWwww... laptop, rings, laptop, rings... ~~ only 1... only 1... :((( blah, want the one start with L! thanks! LoL~~

mine favorite baby octopus

his favorite crab

hungry hungry

the only place that ah nong can be. so pity

a no-need-to-sleep night

yups. so many things to be done.
slacking too much previously and that's why need to stay up late now.
stupid. no more last minute ok!

omg...
i'm so sleepy already!!!!

阿笨

你不爱我 当我很爱你时
没关系 虽然快咳死了
死溅婆 死公狗
我就喜欢这样私下称呼你们 怎样？

阿肥
加油呗 加油呗
原来 我神经了
哈呵哈呵哈呵

这一贴 献给你

“
我爱你 你爱她 她爱她 她爱他
你爱我 我爱他 他爱他 他爱她
咦
怎么这世界 已经没有人相爱
怎么这世界 每个人都不快乐
怎么这世界 每个人都爱别人
。。。
不爱自己
”

现在年轻人的通病。。。不就是太不爱自己了吗？

那天与老朋友见面了，好久不见的朋友，出乎意料的还是能够聊得那么多，原来好朋友不用时常见面，也可以保持原来友好的关系。那一年，她不过是个单纯天真的女孩。留学台湾两年，依然没变。不一样的是交了个来自异国的初恋男友。单纯天真的性格，让她以为彼此就可以那样幸福恩爱地结婚，甚至是携手到老。男方无论是家庭背景，为人处事。。。都是顶呱呱。很遗憾，因为距离，分手了，受伤了，心情糟透了，体重急速下降了。真的以为她会为此意志消沉，但聊天过后，发现在原地踏步的人，是我。她说的每一句话，都让我惊讶！！！那些，都是以往不可能从她口里听到的！她说女孩最重要是有内涵。她说她觉得把钱花在升学很值得。她说她享受单身。她说她还有好多事情还没完成。她说她还很爱他。她说她想把自己增值。她说她很谢谢他。她说了很多。。。那些都是她从失败的感情里，所蜕变出来的新自己。她，在悲伤中重生了。

还记得很久以前，和男友闹翻了。他气了，向我大声了几句，接着就是把气都发泄在衣橱身上了。面对着这一些出轨的态度，一个人独自窝在一旁抽蓄着，心里想着：记忆中，爸爸没骂过我，跟何况是动手打我？唯一有印象的是对我唠叨了几句，那天是因为自己为了减肥而拒绝晚餐。妈妈呢？平时碎碎念，偶尔因为自己的浴室塞满了自己的脏衣服，她才会对我大发雷霆。生气以后，依然烧了热腾腾的菜肴，要我吃了。你说，这样能不肥吗？生我育我的父母，就连骂我都觉得不舍，我怎么甘心，被你如此糟蹋，侮辱。。还要看你脸色，受你的气。我是父母的宝，你却，不珍惜这个爸爸妈妈爱惜的宝。这样，我确实觉得很对不起一直爱我的爸爸妈妈。为什么要让他们这些年来爱惜的，被你如此践踏。纵然，被发泄的只是衣柜，我觉得自己没必要受你这样的暴力恐吓，更没理由要受你对我的大声说话。不是我离不开你，是我给了大家机会，你应该也知道，不是我自夸，虽然我很肥，但市场也还不赖。就算没市场，抱歉，没有你，我也可以很快活。其实你可以那样爱我，是因为我一直懂得爱我自己。爱那些爱我的人。

爱的定义，因人而异。这样的态度，也许我觉得他不爱我了。但如同的情况如果发生在你身上，也许你却还认为他很爱你。甚至告诉自己说，那些都是考验。痛过换回来的幸福，难道真的是幸福吗？那不过是内疚的补偿，这所谓的幸福会长久吗？？你是在逃避，在欺骗自己，还是你没勇气？这是你所谓的爱吗？继续这样的感情比放手更需要勇气，你确定必要把勇气耗在这个人身上吗？你不懂，我们看得见，当你刻意地遮隐那些伤痕。你不懂，我们假装看不见，其实是很心痛。你不懂，我们假装不知道，其实不是没感觉。

但我确实错了，那样静静的，是错的。虽说清官难断家务事，但身为那么多年的朋友，我不怕你说我多事鸡婆，我有责任提醒你，有义务告诉你，这一些。即使你要讨厌我，我不怕，至少，没遗憾；至少，完成了责任。

爱你的人不会让你伤心欲绝，更不会伤害你。你的包容，是在纵容他，他不会了解的。你的溺爱，让他重复错误，他不会觉悟的。你的付出，他不会珍惜，他不会痛改前非的。你的原谅，是让他重复对你的伤害，然后延续悲剧的发生。如果你想要报复，那放手离开，不要回头，才是对他最好的报复。不要让让自己亲手开始这一段悲剧。你绝对可以阻止被伤害，你绝对可以过得更好，你绝对值得更好的对待！别只看到身边的椰树，你知道吗，你的四周，其实围满了森林，森林里好多树，你可以一颗颗地挑，你可以慢慢地挑，你可以细心地选。

暴力，更本不值得任何的原谅，无论是有心或是无心；无论事后给你多少的幸福，多少的补偿。不要说你多爱他，多离不开他。。。不要说你的爱可以感化他。不要。。。。。真的不要。。。。

如果你不爱自己，你不肯爱自己，要别人来如何爱你，而你又怎么去爱别人。

祝福你
请你勇敢地寻找真正给你幸福的 mr. right!

你不知道的事

i wanna be the girl you laugh with;
the one you cry with;
the one that is always be there for you;
the one who cares;
i wanna be yours.

blah...
so stress man!

:)

好比好久好久以前
忽然不见了
不是你坏
是我从来都没变过
还是一样傻
不过我很开心 因为我没很复杂
如果还有下一次
我依然会选择傻
因为那样很幸福

新张的日本餐厅
没有很贵 平民化 得很舒服
三文鱼饭很棒 很幸福 很满足

就是要那样灌输自己很幸福
即使是小小的事情
都要觉得幸福
那就会幸福了

好累
然后我快咳死了

别傻了

傻瓜。。。 :)))

i'm the luckiest person in the world...

forced him to take such pic with me. i knew i'm naive. but who cares. seriously, i'm a happy girl now. at least i'm not alone even in desperation. and actually i shouldn't spend too much time on being desperate. happiness is simple, cherish the one that make you happy and yea... get rid of the ones that don't. it's just as simple as that! :D

thanks papa and mama for bringing me to this world 22 years ago and work hardly to raise me up, educate me.. and most importantly, love me, pamper me. i love them more than anything else in the world. and my siblings. my cutest niece and nephew!!

while, the greatest thing in life is finding someone who knows all my mistakes and weaknesses but still loves me and thinks i'm the best thing in his life. my fat honey bee. thanks for loving, supporting, pampering me and stand by my side all the time even though am not a good girlfriend....

and what's better than a bunch of friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for fulfilling my life. thanks for creating such a nice memories for me. thanks for everything.

:)

my heart is ached for my hair. i want my hair back though it was as if a big bush previously. urgh!! the hair stylist is kinda funny. he cut my hair to a very funny length. alright, the left and the right hair is longer whereas the hair behind is pretty short. ok i don't wanna think about that anymore. please grow it faster. i just want long long hair! :D

our daily bread with beloved one.

get well soon, cheater!

when you lie once, you need to lie repeatedly to cover the previous lies. do you ever know that how ugly are you when i found, you're anxious and trying to cover your lies by creating another lies? seriously, i feel pretty sad for you. as cheating is becoming one of your habits in your life. as if addictive drugs occupied every single moment of your lifetime and you just can't get rid of it. life's short. why are you willing to spend time on such childish things? you're good in your studies but then you're just a life-loser actually. i'm not perfect thus i shouldn't comment too much for your personality. hopefully you'll get bored of cheating one day and release that people around you actually do not really mind what are you cheating about. most importantly, your skills of cheating is really poor. i think a down syndrome patient might know you're cheating the moment when you're thinking to cheat. :D

recovering soon from being indulged in cheating. i hope you a healthier and happier lifestyle. god bless you cheater.

没说谎
头 痛得快裂开了

我
不开心

大大的stress

也许我该换个心情
不该再继续为学业而烦恼
因为毕业了
职业才是那最恼人的。。。

人生短短的几十年
读书也只占了20年
打工呢？30 40 甚至是50年

也许是在家里排行的关系
我很弱 很弱 很弱
总觉得哥哥姐姐们 都很棒！！！
真的。。。 他们 都好强！！

记得胖胖的蜜蜂很生气
那天不小心说自己很没用
他很生气 很生气
其实我好想拿起手机 告诉他我有多想他
他陪伴我走过了很多。。很多
:'(

:C

you (yea don't doubt - i mean you), you never know that there's always little truth behind every "just kidding", a little knowledge behind every "i don't know", and a little emotion behind every "i don't care"....

is feeling so sad. don't ask me why because i'll just lie and say i'm fine, i'm alright, and i'm ok. eventually i break down and cry because i've been strong for too long.....

Smile. It irritates those who wish to destroy you

小时候常常希望快点长大
因为向往着大人们的生活
如今终于长得有点儿大了
却不想再长大了

其实
大人们的世界很邪恶
生活多是被谎言给填满
尔虞我诈 斤斤计较 斗心勾角
见风转舵 笑里藏刀
。。。。

如果可以平凡点多好
如果可以平静点多好
如果可以简单点多好

这样你伤害我
我伤害你
到底
有完没完？

假装

当爱失了焦
那些最初的美好
早被搁在一角

last week of holiday. sobs!

today was all about food food and still food!!! so many many calories have been consumed from early in the morning till this hour!! went dim sum buffet at mega in the morning. omg, kinda disappointed to the foods. they were all different from the advertisement. what to do, advertisement always lie people.. still, boulevard restaurant provides the best dim sum within Miri!!!

and gonna bed on 2230. and will try to quit fb gamesSssSssSss. :)))))

i want a healthier lifestyle.

ah nong's saturday

alone with puff puff.. what a lonely afternoon :'(

waiting... waiting for the phone to ring :'(



destroying the newly-bought-bag of honey bee



obviously, i'm going to become insane soon.
urgh!! wanna wanna sleep early from tomorrow onwards!

joke of the day

this morning when i was on the way to take my car in campus parking slot.. i met with our very funny and humorous lecturer, Mr. J. he showed me his very charming smile with his very healthy rows of teeth when we saw each other... and followed by some greetings.

Mr. J: Hi, how you doing?

the idiot, me: (waving my sch fee receipt) paid school fee.

Mr. J: (a very VERY weird emotion) oh oH~

the idiot, me: ...


Chinese used to describe such condition as "答非所问". i can feel that he was =.='''' when hearing my reply. but think the other way round, i would be always impressed in his mind because of the very unique answer....


bah~~

i want fruits!!! flood me with FRUITS!!!

good times

忽然怀念以前
以前一起到梦竹林的日子

一份海鲜火锅
一份鲜蚝
一份炸芋头
一份炸薯条
一份芝士烤饭
两份鲜鸡蛋

你最爱的蛋蜜汁
我喜欢的蜜桃味

还有附送的龟型布丁
不停播放的轻柔乐曲
不停地把菜菜往你碗里夹
而你则负责把海鲜去壳
最棒最棒的还是最后的烫底
浓浓的芋香
都是我们的最爱

然后我们都很饱 很饱 很饱

就这样 我们一直一直在向横发展

:)

21

21岁的那一年 你在干什么？

我的21
很平凡 很平静 很贫穷 但其实也很幸福
也许 在过分安逸的环境下
自己 开始向往不安逸
开始怀着想要破坏原有一切的念头

其实一直在想 想很反叛地结束21
但我老了 累了 不够勇敢了。。。。
呃。。。我想我也不曾勇敢过

最近看了出自陶子的作品 --- 我爱故我在
很棒很经典的书
一直以来 没看书的习惯 更觉得文字让眼泪滑下根本就是天方夜谭
其实没有哭 只是在眼里打转 因为那篇描述自然产的文章 真是顶呱呱
还有很多很多 关于感情的文章
天啊~ 那些都是多么的贴切

也许 明天醒来 我会变勇敢
勇敢的结束我的21

enjoy the simple things

rainy night
.....
brunei trip
....
without honey bee
...
junk foods hunting
..
excapade
.

image of love

终于明白
很多时候自己爱上的并不是对象的本身

而是爱上自己对对象本身所产生的想象
哈~哈~哈~

(:

♥ our little boy ♥

Sunday. honey bee. dating. beach. obesity.

懂了

去了口碑很好的 kent's garden
原来美里小到夸张
所谓的 kent's garden 也就是学校食堂的 kent's station

除了餐厅的设计别出心裁
我想不到它到底有多好
蚊子 很多
服务态度 有待改善
至于食物 主人家不给机会尝
但在等待的过程中 隔座顾客的食物分量却看来有点儿大
饮料
点了 lime juice 蛮适合低糖主义的我
而胖胖却点了 特制绿茶

客人不多 但坐下来十五分钟了也没人来服务
点了的宵夜 却没出现过
恩~

就如 skin food 般
就算我再喜欢那里的产品
售货员的态度差
我宁愿不进去
情愿不买我想要的

。。。。

又是时候看普京兔啦~
嘻嘻

crabs 1 kg tonight?

argh... do not know the reason why am i so addicted to crabs recently... i miss crabs. i miss korean food. i miss escapade sushi. i miss donuts. i miss japanese pastry. i miss all those addictive and fattening delicacies. urgh. how much i wish i'm not a girl....


watch 普京兔 from youtube these few days. they're really funny. stupid. and yay~ SO cute....

urgh.. furious

seriously i do not know the reason why my blackie used to sick once every year... com'on blackie you're good boy. please be strong and not to let me down. hopefully tomorrow morning when i switch on you, you will be recover from every sickness. sighs. think to change a new one. yet lack of money. the cheapest one need 1k.. omg... ... and i still need to brace my teeth. goshs. lady luck can you please stay with me and pay some sympathy to me for letting me to win 1st price of toto or 4d? am in need of money urgently...

super moody now... because of so many things!!! and when i think about year end that i need to hunt a job. argh!!!!!!!!!!! i wish not to grow up!!!!

想伤心一下下就好了

went facial wash today finally. actually i craved it for such a long time as my skin is getting worst day by day. in bygone days, pimple only popped out once in awhile. yet now, the pimples come altogether in the same time. as what i expected, the beautician said that my skin is no longer as good as before and both of my cheeks are LOOSEN~!!! *cries*



but i've no money to buy a better skin care for myself. i'm so broke now. i shouldn't keep spending on unnecessary things. i shouldn't be insatiable.....

and i think it's time to think over what i really want.

我回来咯！！！

头发很丑
脸很老
我很丑

很累的旅程，却学了很多 真的是很多很多
也许我只能说
女人的一生可以用悲来形容
悲哀 悲惨 悲伤 悲痛 还有 无限的无奈

想象。。。
电话拨给心爱的男友
傻乎乎地问他在哪了
其实她不懂
他的旁边正坐着别的女人
电话里储存的 也不只是她的相片
简讯里 都是 都是 和别人暧昧的短讯
。。。

难道这就是女人的命运吗？
难道无论什么都会过期吗？
难道就不可以不贱一下吗？
难道有钱就能玩弄爱情吗？

也许这样坏透的男生
就是很多女生会喜欢
难道是女生造就了这样的男生吗？

不明白 不懂
也许人类的细胞里都隐藏了坏坏的基因
就是要叛逆 才开心


莫名其妙地收到迟来的玫瑰
真得迟了 迟了好久 好久
正如你说的 它很便宜 却很有意义
因为迟了 所以只能在小小的袋子里枯萎
然后一切随风
被遗忘

胖胖

不舍得
舍不得

怎么办
已经 好想 好想 好想
莴的胖胖

♫ 别再哭了♫

♫
伤心情歌播几遍了

你的眼还湿红红的

生命总有些过客

现在不过多了一个

结束了何必再拉扯

有些事总该遗忘的

你听着听着又哭了

我明白的谁都难免不舍

别再哭了 多不值得

想一想把爱情看透彻

生活苦涩该他负责

他会后悔他做了这选择

别再哭了 多不值得

失去也是另一种获得

伤心情歌 不属你的

幸福不一定非爱谁不可

难熬的 会经过的

别再哭了 多不值得

失去也是另一种获得

伤心情歌 不属你的

幸福不一定非爱谁不可

爱错了 又能如何

幸福不一定非爱谁不可

难熬的 会经过的
♫

this song is superb. it's good for healing. keep listening non-stopping not because i was hurt and need to be healed but because of the lyric. (: hmm.. feeling so unwell today. keep feel like vomiting and suffering from disgusting feeling whole day long. i'm NOT pregnant i sure. and poo poo for uncountable times today. i wondered the hygiene of the restaurant last night! damn!

well, going to sibu this coming Sunday. tired. i'm tired when i think of the long-hour-ride. a bit reluctant actually as i know, i'll miss everything here BADLY. :c

signing off

holiday is boring!

full.. very full
full until gastric..
:(

movie day but no movie.. urgh!

终于 他后悔了
五年后 他回头了
很可惜 狮子座是宁可放弃一段感情 也不会吃回头草的
因为她最爱的人是自己
其实也没很可惜 因为 现在什么感情也没有了
那些过去 因为不重要了 所以忘了
五年耶 什么都腐烂了
更何况 你一点都不值得
^^

其实没有再见面的需要
现在的关系很好
不要破坏 不要改变
:)

07-07-10

being as a female is hard.
while, to be a pretty female is even harder....
:(

please don't give up though holding on is much tougher...
i've faith in you, you can do it, yhui!!
:)

eventually email fyp supervisor.. and i got the read confirmation email from her. meaning that she read my mail already but haven't reply me yet. hmm...... and recently suffering from insomnia because i nap too long everyday. sighs. i don't like to stay up actually. i don't want panda eyes too!!!

and i wanna watch toys story.
:)
and i want korean food
and i want escapade sushi
and i want ice-blended chocolate cream chips

:(
seriously craving for addictive fattening foods!

argh!!

没有也许

没有也许
明天不会领着行李，出现在机场
很肯定了 不会动摇 也不再想了
没有也许
所以现在不是在整理行李 是在写日志
发发牢骚 过过瘾

傍晚贱男人来电了
他说：“对不起宝贝 今天收到的还是不够呢 要到下星期才会有”
心里暗爽了下 也心痛了一下
更不明白为什么我的贱男人可以那么“天真”外加“单纯”
就算有钱了又怎样 难道人家酒店天天为他空着吗~

最晴天霹雳的还是姐姐告诉我的消息
就是阿~
新加坡的机票她订了。。。结果我呢！！！！
又是被遗忘
算了呗 算了呗

我知道的 知足常乐啊~
不是自我安慰 真的很开心现在拥有的
因为天公是不会偏心的
不会给你太多 也不会给你太少
就刚刚好 恰到好处
如果你觉得不够 那是因为你太贪心了呗

:)

sunday

you were my strength when i was weak
you were my voice when i couldn't speak
you were my eyes when i couldn't see
you lifted me up when i couldn't reach
you gave me faith cause you believed

good dating day with fat honey bee
though we keep arguing
still, wanna thank you
for pampering me always
overeating today. lack of water today
all because of you

:)

happy mode

illusions

holiday is good. definitely good. how much i wish i could have lifestyle as this for the rest of my life. but i know these are too impossible. as i'm not satisfy for all these yet. i wanna earn big bucks to get all luxurious which i want and of course to bring all my love ones to travel together with me. i hope this is not only a dream, but able to achieve in near future. most importantly, to get a very comfortable house - my dream bed room with the white Lorenzo's bed , the gigantic washroom with spa bath...... and bla bla bla which were being shared with my honey bee. hmm... small house is not a matter, the main thing is that it must fulfill my basic requirement!!! leo leo LEO! :D

to achieve all these INCREDIBLE missions, i can only dream once in awhile and work hard word hard. but the fastest way is married a rich man. rich man rich man, please approaches me immediately. or honey bee honey bee can you please turn into rich man the next SECOND?

:D

happy today not because for those you bought for me, not because you were willing to give me opinions when i was asking, and of course, it was not because of the heavy-thunder-rain.... but just a sentence from you. simple yet attain the point. i know i'm a realistic girl. thank you for knowing me so well and this is the main reason why i can't stop loving you.

:D

July

:D

三

放了两天假
看了两天的偶像剧
偶像剧的剧情真的是超呕的
但却照看无误
因为想自己变年轻点
因为成熟的港剧统统都被看完了
放假真棒
但很可惜没有旅行
选择了 所以接受了
人比人 只会气死人
所以啊~就珍惜拥有的
那些不可能 就别想太多了呗
只有这样可以开心多了
别贪心了 笨蛋
懂吗

XD

我要换颜色
我要剪头发
我要去美容

但我没钱啊~

老板，快出粮呗！

:D

happenings

can't really recall back when did i start to have a special sense, the sense to feel that "something"'s going to happen on me. is it call predictive? hmm... it sounds so vain. i used to think that the past experiences were just coincidence yet from what had happened today, i can tell confidently that i really have such power!! involved in a road accident today afternoon. actually i began to feel that i'm going to have an car accident since the beginning of this year. and this feeling is pretty strong particularly when i was driving alone. i feel scare of this feeling actually as it worsen my illusion.. and even the fortune teller told my mum that i might need to have an operation within this year, damn, either head, leg, or tummy!!!

well, very fortunately, i'm still good now! XD

had a small family bbq just now. happy. as no other frens, just family! so nice! :) however, i ate from 6 until 10 non-stop-ly .... i really don't wanna to gain weight anymore!!!! but why do i just so useless for not controlling my hands and mouth. that's useless to cry over split milk!! yuanhui, please wake up and face the truth!!!!!!

and it's time to go bed, to work tomorrow and to quarrel with my boss again!!
i will definitely quit my holiday job very soon!!!
(: