碎碎念

三月的最后一天
依然颓废得很
想起那些无穷的作业和考试
真的无心又无力

三年零三个月 开始不明白
当初何来的勇气
签下八十八千的欠款
你说我现在能不害怕吗？
如今漂浮在海中 四周无人
眼睁睁的看着救生圈泄气
然后慢慢地溺毙

其实不是不能，只是不要
那些不争气的基因 从来不曾突变过
我想三十年后回想过去
我将是个没有遗憾的老人
能吗？

惭愧
因为你很认真的生活
我却没有没有

不想放弃
但却也不想活得那么累
无奈 矛盾

我很想把自己养活
但 我能吗？

gosh, 'm gonna be bareheaded soon

the hairs were shedding one root followed by another root when i was doing literature review for PEMEX incident, 1984 yesterday afternoon. they never ever fall as serious as this time. . . . .

argh!!!
i don't want!!!!!!!!

random post

people addicted to alcohols
i addicted to Chinese teas.
gonna exercise again after paused for a week +
i don't wanna exercise like an athlete
i just like the feeling of sweating
as if all my stress is released and flies away from my body
and i like the heat released from my body every time after sweating
it gives me the feeling that 'm still alive.
and the smelly woman smell....
:))))

free weeks
work and play and slack and sleep and ......

I

万物有时，怀抱有时，爱情也有时序。
爱情有生、老、病、死。。。
也总在不知不觉间过期

有一天，
把它拿出来，
才知道最鲜活的日子已经永远过去。

):

你不懂
狮子可以委曲求全
但其实也可以转身离去
不屑 不留恋 不回头

不要高估狮子
不要低估狮子
:)))))

self admonishment... haha

especially dedicated to MS. KHO YUAN HUI!!!!!

you've slept enough on your bed
you've ate enough all those delicacies and snacks
you've facebook-ed enough by stalking others' status/photo like a paparazzi
you've listened enough those stupid songs
you've slacked enough on msn

so,
please kindly DO NOT....
fall asleep like you've alot of America time to do that again

please kindly DO NOT....
eat like you're very slim and have the potential to gain weight again

please kindly DO NOT....
facebook like you're still on holiday again

please kindly DO NOT....
listening songs like they will be disappeared the next second again

please kindly DO NOT....
msn like .... erm .... again

please kindly DO NOT do all these when you're revising the stupid god da*n lecture notes.

open your eyes big enough, concentrate and make sure your mind can absorb every little single thing of RISK MANAGEMENT!!! that's what you gonna do and the only things you've to do. :))) your hard work will pay. and you can avoid of being the one to regret at the end of semester.

lastly,
guys........
happy revising tonight and good luck on tomorrow test.
good luck to myself as well.

signing off...

:)))))))

yesterday :D

yesterday mama said something touched my heart in front of everyone during lunch time.
=D
i love you mama, you're my superwoman forever and ever.
thanks for protecting your daughter - me with all your life time.
mama always the one who has the magic power to sense that 'm not alright when my brain keeps popping up negative thoughts. mama smells my sadness.
it's really sweet to hear what you've said when 'm in dying process.
you remind me that 'm not all alone when 'm in desperation.

and finally i got the reply from both Ms. Tan & Ms. Lau yesterday afternoon. kinda stress afterward. but with their advices and guidances, I've no more excuse to say that i don't know how to do. so, 'm going to work hard on the initiation report from right now till the due date.

somehow i feel 'm full of power and confident right now. perhaps the darkness is gone. :D hope these positive spirits would stay with me until the end of the semester :D
感恩~感恩

~ bless me ~

useless

the head is getting better now but....
it's sore throat and flu moment...
sighs.
feel like crying for the environment

'm tired. so tired....
so tired to pretend myself to be strong and tough enough

♫

你的明天有多快乐不是我的

我们的爱是唱一半的歌

时间把习惯换了 伤口愈合

也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福

一半甜的 一半苦的

像我手中冷掉的可可

最最教人残念的总是未完成的

我只能唱著一半的歌

♫ 半情歌♫

>>> :

i hate pain killers actually
i want myself not to consume too often
because they ain't good at all
and the other reason is that i wanna test my ability of bearing pain.
but 'm nothing without them currently.
the ache that my head suffers is killing me truly, deeply, and madly

when can i get rid off headache?
the mood is so spoiled and my brain cannot function at all
every time it visits me.
the saddest thing is that,
it visits me too frequent recently.
and there's still so many things are waiting for me to complete.

~ bless me ~

:'(

>:

i can't really find an English word to describe my feeling now.

or maybe

complicated.

goodnight, to you, you, and you, and you..... and myself.

:)))))

♫

如果忽遠忽近的灑脫
是你要的自由
那我寧願回到一個人生活

如果忽冷忽熱的溫柔
是你的藉口
那我寧願對你從沒認真過

到底這感覺誰對誰錯
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

♫ 猜不透 ♫

*slap*

had spicy chicken McDeluxe with the new available twister fries and a large coke. fattening but the spicy chicken wasn't spicy at all while the twister fries wasn't as delicious as french fries though it's NEW. in short, don't buy McDonald during weekends. :))))

still thinking whether i should go Siamese to have pizza with lime split and order a double scoops kalamansi at Desserts later. i know these are kinda fattening and the attitude is kinda crazy. but i don't care. i just wanna turn all my griefs into the fat on my body. i just wanna die because of obesity... i just wanna gain some happiness from eating all those food.

and never go shopping mall when one of your nerves give negative signal. or don't bring your atm card or cash together with you when you're so down.
you'll regret at the end.
by that time, you can replace nothing but pay painful price for all the silly behaviors.

受了点伤

nothing.

i just wanna hide inside my blanket and cry.

:'(

.

it was super shocking and saddening the time that the sex scandal of Jack Neo was broadcasted by aiFM when 'm on the way to campus few days ago. and on the next day, this affairs scandal had been reported by entertainment news or even international news exaggeratedly. whilst, there were a lot of "victims" turned up one after another. how terrible the condition is!

alright, he used to be someone that i admired every time i watch the production of him. this is mainly because the stories of his movies always impress me and i found that they always have the ability to convey messages which have been neglected by younger generations nowadays. those movies possess education effect and they are always better than many other movies which i found meaningless at all - big boobs girl with less costume / good-looking-guys with six abdominal muscles and the story line often give me a feeling of erotic, lust, violence and so on so for. perhaps some of his behaviors and attitudes are very wrong and might cause negative impacts to the teenager or whatever but you JUST can't deny his talents and his contributions to the society.

and the one i respect the most would be his wify for forgiving his betrayal and dishonesty. other said that she's stupid or whatever but i have a different mind. her attitude tells us what true love is and how strongly she wanna protect her family. this is the instinct of a woman, don't you think so? no one knows how much pressure and gossips she needs to suffer and how much courage she needs to face people around her. problems will not be solved if you choose divorce. :D

please stop rendering the scandal to minimize the hurt on the innocent wife and children. please stop spreading salts on their wounds.

seriously, i do not hope that i can't watch his movies in future...

we're only human.
who doesn't make mistake?

thanks to those innocent crabs

:)

其实 越不喜欢一个人的行为
本身也具有了那种行为
你没发现
那是因为。。。
自古有云：当局者迷 旁观者清

人家常说，
别人 就是自己的一面镜子

你

看见自己了吗？

dilema

说不出口的想念
~ 很傻 ~

:c

相愛沒有那麼容易 每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀 轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易 才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心 所以最開心 曾經
想念最傷心 但卻最動心 的記憶

沒那么簡單- 黃小琥

smoke choked

if the uncivilized humankind did not want to burn the land
their family and themselves would die because of no harvest and thus no income from their crops.
while,
if the uncivilized humankind burned the land for obtaining fertile land to plant their crops
everyone would die together because of absorbing too much of harmful smoke.

what would you choose if you were one of the uncivilized people or if you were a educated people but facing starvation/fatal for not growing crops by burning land??
even a fool would choose the second choice.
because they would want to die together with million/billion living creature rather than die alone because of poverty.
it's just too difficult to groom great people in the world as selfish people are all around every single corner in this planet.

this time,
i would not like to curse the uncivilized people as i know they're all forced by the reality. this is one of the instincts of human to survive in hard situation.

but these just cost too high.
uncountable creature life.
the innocent babies.
the helpless animals.
the frail old folks.
the sturdy teenagers.
the one and only planet.

we're all increasingly weak
and one day we'll be died together.

sighs.