:D

i just dislike you
so what
soon,
you'll get rid from my life
and i wont feel a little bit of unhappy
because of losing you
....

supper with jie jie-s at hot spot and i ordered vodka lime as the drink of the night
the cocktail tasted like the absolute kurant and no lime at all
so many years, still can't fall in love with alcohol.
well, i wonder was it the cause to make me staying up until this hours? hmmm
wed night, the street was surprisingly noisy
and my soul was surprisingly lonely
attended a talk about environmental protection just now
it was held in a studio. was attracted by a pic hang on the wall...
of course, naked pic will always attract my attention. :D
that was a bit funny as seriously i didn't know why i still have such America time to do things beyond assignments.

hmmm

low productivity for fyp yesterday
sighs
have to work pretty hard today
stop dreaming and stop sleeping pls
hectic week is just around the corner
be tough
be strong
yes i can because i think i can
:D

bless me and i do believe in miracle
still
:D

想婚了

终于想婚了
终于要婚了
我想
很快就要办喜事了
低调低调低调

爸爸妈妈都很伟大
在一起时 口口声声的反对
但其实都很尊重孩子们的决定
尊重 配合 再加上支持

很遗憾
新娘不是我
新郎更不是我的他
四年前
胖胖蜜蜂要求四年的时间
赚钱娶我
多美好的理想世界 一毕业就为人妇
好像钱是真的可以从天掉下来一样

终于踏入第四年了
我想他还没赚到一卡拉的砖戒
我已经把要求降到半卡拉了
甚至我说 金戒也没问题
男人说要结婚 只有两个理由
一时冲动 或是想要把你
但我一直知道
胖胖蜜蜂都把自己最好的留给我
不是我浮夸

那天我说
要不然也给我四年的时间赚钱
到时我回来娶胖胖蜜蜂
。。。

身边太多例子
都让我甘拜下风
但依我的立场 贫穷夫妻百事哀
我想不是我太悲观 而是事实如此
但到底要多少才能称得上有钱呢？
没错 狮子座就是一直在幻想嫁入豪门的动物
有时我在想 自己追求的是一份爱情
抑或是一个稳定甚至是富裕的生活
真得很悲哀 为什么要
no money no honey?
最心疼的是 明明知道
我在想什么 却还是傻傻的要给我最好的
如果我是男人 抱歉 酱的女生即使再美
我都不想要
哈哈
最难过的是 明明自己是二十一世纪的女性
为何 为何 为何
还具有那愚昧的想法
难道我不能自己赚吗！！！
哈哈
我想我能 只是要不要的问题

我想恋上狮子的人们都很辛苦
因为狮子随时都会败在诱惑
而选择背叛

i need a hug

sore throat
lack of sleeping
presentations
empty mind
tired eyes
stress.pressure.tension.

gosh.

life, hard life

pig and dog friends complained today for not updating my blog for 3 days long. 3 days ain't long la my friends. currently this period is considered as the critical moment for everyone of us. how can i still able to crap here and there everyday in my blog? but in order to fulfill their little wish and to cheer their life little bit, i scarified my revision time to write blog rather than to digest the risk management notes. hmm..

went dinner with family tonight. i was so reluctant actually as still left 1 lecture note to go and still have tutorial to study. cries. i've requested mum to postpone to tomorrow, but eventually they still insist today! sighs. nonetheless, having dinner with a complete family is really precious. everyone was there except my fat honey bee. without him, nobody gonna finish half of my rice; without him, nobody gonna take the delicacies to me...

and so sad as i saw someone was wearing the voir t-shirt that fat honey bee bought for me few weeks ago!!! :'( seeing other wearing the shirt which you possess is really feeling bad. sighs. and the pics i took during the SMDS trip ... erm... still haven't post yet. sorry friends, not much photos i took actually and i am pretty lazy to transfer them to my desktop. :D but i promise i'll do so as soon as possible after the risk test or the presentations on Friday.

yups. presentations! god damn study life i would say. two presentations within a day!!! :( gonna xia soi in front of so many people again!!!! argh! argh! argh! argh! argh!

:D

slept alot for the past few days. slept as if no assignments and no tests are waiting for me to complete. and eventually ended up having insomnia at this hour. weekend is coming to the end again. and gonna pretend that 'm very strong and tough enough to face all the uncountable tasks and tests. i should admit that my mood is pretty bad because of all these frustrated things appear in my life. i throw my tantrum to people around me. nonetheless, 'm lucky because they love me still. while, 'm still here to suffer all these because jumping down from 6th floors needs much more courage and braveness than sitting the test and it's much harder than cracking my head for solving the assignment problems....

i like the some part of the sharing moment from philip loh at the end of site visit on friday. though we were all tired and craved to get back home immediately. he said:" when you're married and have children. you'll try your very best to work harder, to earn more money to ensure that your children to have all the best things in the world. and that's what your parents do for you now too." sobs sobs

what a memorable trip, indeed.


and i'm just so FAT!
:(

再会算的人
也不可能能算得赢天
啊！！！
非常时刻
好烦好烦好烦

i just wanna post my real FEELING coz this blog is belonging to me

喜欢华语 因为几乎每一句都很有含义
人不为己 天诛地灭
我想我了解人的本性
因为我也是人
我也是有自私的时候
我也是有为自己着想的时候
我也是有在变恶魔的时候
输就输在 脸皮没那么厚
败就败在 心不够狠做不出面
累就累在 随便没意见都可以
好像在称赞这样的自己 好像这样的自己很神圣
但其实我很讨厌这样的我
甚至我还不明白为什么妈妈让我养成到这种性格
但随着年龄的渐长 开始明白 妈妈的用意
她不是教我懦弱 是在教我为自己留后路
现今的年轻人就是赢了再说 忘了自己的后路
她不是教我默默接受 是在磨炼我忍气吞声的能耐
现今的年轻人就是忘了这种能耐的重要性
她不是教我逃避 是在训练我看到更多别人看不到的
现今的年轻人就是忘了看得更深层
她不是教我胆小怕事 是教我不要计较那么多
不是不要计较 而是和那些人计较真的是浪费精神
说得仿佛我都不再是年轻人了
但如果年轻人就象征这种态度
我想我不介意被说老
其实妈妈读书的程度很低 就小六毕业
但我不明白为何很多大学毕业的妈妈们 可以把孩子养成这种衰样！！
事实证明 读越多书的人 其实只是认识多几个字
就觉得很自己长得比别人高 比别人漂亮 比别人厉害
那又如何？在背后却被别人咒了多久也懵然不知
当然我没有那么坏去咒人
何必为了个衰样的破坏了我的口德
我只是才明白 就像乡下的孩子来到城市的心情
很惊讶的告诉自己
原来自己真得那么笨
原来真会有那样的人
原来非你莫属的是这样来形容的

其实那些衰样 关我什么事啊~
那都不是我的问题 我操心什么啊？
还有还有很多问题等着我去烦呢！！！
:D

:D

lack of update because of assignment and still assignments.
can't imagine how am i going to survive in these coming hectic weeks..
fourth year is really hard. ><

and FYP. sighs. i've not starting writing any draft yet.. and my supervisor was asking the draft report from me for feedback. seriously, am so regret for wasting my 2 weeks of free week. ><''' fortunately the supervisor was pretty satisfied with my last minute preparation for the meeting or probably she wasn't really care about that. ><'' but truly, she stressed me every time she says that she wanna make my research paper as public journal. hey, that isn't my standard ok. my requirement is simply low - i just wanna make my life easier and thus a grade 6 in this unit is seriously enough for me.

and eventually i bought my Japanese pastry today. i ate two pieces OK! :D so obese but just so irresistible and i wanna cut my hair!!! and i wanna watch the puppy love and IP man. and i wanna hug my fat honey bee. i missed those old days when we were closed to each other and to feel his heat. and my brain is keep emerging the ideas of outgoing.


and it's time to have my beauty sleep.
:D

carrying on is much tougher than giving up
complain less and work more (Kenneth 2010)
jia you yuan hui

and it's coming to the end of Wed. sighs!

i wish to have a cup of hot coffee from Starbucks
and a piece of white chocolate macadamia from secret recipe
right now
to accompany me
when am half way doing those assignments.
less sleeping time
less slacking time
less desperate + ing time

time will never stop for someone


gu luk gu luk gu luk
tummy is protesting again.
sighs.
assignments cause obesity to me

endurance

feel like escaping from my room
and soaked myself in the rain
to wet those frustrations
and to avoid the disturbances from the
hyperactive kid in the house

i just wanna concentrate and get my thing done
i just wanna alleviate my emotion
i just wanna have my potatoes dinner peacefully
and not finishing them this late
sighs.
but all these as if an extravagant hope to me
wondering the degree of endurance that i possess to cope
with these when the mood is swinging?
i'm only human

Sunday depresses me

untitled

i don't like myself to be as crazy as this.
i feel like there is something missing in my inner side
or perhaps my sixth-sense is trying to tell me that something is coming to an end.
and that's why i need to do something crazily to appease those fears or whatever
i can't figure it out what is the actual thing actually
yet i know that i myself have changed a lot.
i don't like what i am now. seriously and truly.
am feeling really bad to hurt myself and other
i wish to control all these, to minimize the dark side of my thoughts
but they are all beyond controllable.

deeply in desperation now.
honey do you notice these?
:'(