brand new start: Ox Year

and so...
today is the 8th day of CNY. time flies silently & impassively... January is gone and February is here with me... I'm wondering why everything seems so fast? a week before, it was the 1st day of CNY & I served guests until puke. a week later, I'm free like a bird & killing my time by blogging. these conditions are D.A.R.N extreme & thus i feel like I'm still dreaming!!!

sticking with my favorite man a week and eventually he has to back to his job today. this means that i have to be friend with loneliness again. frankly I've learnt something in this "a week break". Before, i get to used to mutter about either the time he spend on me or those empty promises he had promised. yet right now, i began to understand the meaning of freedom. I found that I'm so hate of being caged but on the other side i like to cage him. there seems to be a contradiction between how i want him to treat me and the way i used to treat him. :(

all i want now is freedom exactly. i feel like unable to breath a sigh of relief every time i think my free time is occupied. i feel irritated & unreasonable one every time he blames me for ignoring his calls when i really not convenient to answer it. i feel disturbing every time he pops up outside my house without inform me earlier. i feel so afraid every time he ask promises from me. i feel ignored every time he relucts to follow my thought. perhaps I'm sick. Yet i think selfish is the best description to describe my personality... :)
human is selfish, don't you think so?? lol

I'm so eager for freedom but this holiday i keep asking myself why i used to expropriate his freedom? ain't he feel irritated, disturbing, annoyed, frustrated, depressed . . . . too? in order to request freedom from him, 1st i have to do is to return freedom to him. respecting each other is one of the better way to maintain a relationship last long. (=

very appreciate to this "a week holiday" or i should say thanks to Ox Year as i no longer get into a dead end & take unnecessary pains to study insignificant problem. what's the point to suffer pointlessly? i have family that i love so much & they do love me so much too. however, they love me not because i love them while i love them not because they love me. love ain't asking return, love ain't control, love ain't live for someone but live for our own, love ain't being irrational. the reason i love them is simple... BECAUSE I DO LOVE THEM! i have friends, studies, freedom, and of cause.. i have HIM too. lol.... i keep moving forward as when i turned back, I'm beginning to miss what's ahead of me.

had a fun & enjoy gathering with ex-highschoolmate at candy's house last night. this indeed a memorable moment. we had graduated for 2 years ... may you guys a healthy year and good luck either in studies or careers. all the best.

p/s: more pics will be uploaded at my facebook soon. cheers (=