desperation

'm in need of a hair cut so badly!!!!
'm lack of self confidence with this kind of bush hair
'm suffering from inferiority with an out-of-shape curly hair
'm losing self esteem with this disorder hair

if you were a leo,
possibly you would know what kind of feeling
that 'm suffering right now
argh!!!!!

seriously, terribly....
it despairs me day by day

sad
why am i so useless

and i just not able to concentrate at all!!!
:'((((((

fooooooool!!!

sigh
i don't know why i can be
so goosey + careless + silly
when am replying the mail which is important to me

though i know the percentage to be appointed to the internship position
in such a famous + international + competitive company
is equivalent to zero with my poor result

certainly, they had a bad impression on me
for providing incomplete details
and caused inconvenience to them
:(((

and now,
i make big mistake again
sigh
feel like punching and slapping myself NOW!!
argh!!!

what i can do now is only to pray
praying for the lady luck would stay with me
人家说，
天公疼gong人
i hope it would be really really and really happened on me
:))))

hectic week

the god damn psd project was finally done on monday
after stayed up all night without closed my eyes
seriously, i felt so old + aunty + ahmu
no matter how many slices of masks i use afterward
:(((((

the daffy ppe test was eventually over on tuesday
i actually think that 'm not able to do well for the exam
as i only spent less than 5 hours to focus on the tutorials questions
and dumped all lecture notes
as a consequence,
i felt panic and trembled when i couldn't get the answer
and when i failed to change the unit
and the limited space + uneven position of the table and seat
caused me neck pain!!
i always wonder whether the seats are designed
for primary school students?
:(((((

and today,
people spend most of their time on the combined project
which will be due on tomorrow.
and i spent most of my time slacking around
instead of helping my teammates
actually 'm not slacking at all...
i was busy for those who think 'm FREE!!
da*n
i just can't understand why my family always think 'm FREE?
lol

sincerely,
i would like to show my great appreciation to Ms. Yeo
mostly for PSD project
two helpless people stay alongside to battle
probably you will know how i feel when you were in my shoes
:))))

and tomorrow,
will be the combined project presentation
good luck to my team!!
sorry, i really do not contribute alot in the project
HAHA
and herng, would you remember to bring your camera??
i wanna take pic with my lengzai LA!!!
~~HAHA~~


it's dragon boat festival the next day
WeeWee
the best dumplings are handmade by my superwoman
had 2 for my afternoon tea
and dad had 3...
OMG... our tummy now are full of glutinous rice
and mama's love
:)))))

randomly

yupsss...
eventually owned a new monitor...
hi, LG
hope my life's good as what your slogan said

eventually the old and sick one can retire
and take good rest instead of serving me.
rest in peace, BenQ

to be frank,
the only thing i liked about this monitor was its colour...
everything about my desktop is now in black colour
black monitor, black keyboard, black audio equipment....
think to hunt a little black mouse soon
:))))

and its wideness make me so so... speechless...
as everything become shorter and fatter...
:(((((
and i even can feel my eyes become wider!!

sigh,
psd psd..
'm so worried about you!!

ramblings....

hey guys, feeling free now?

kindly click here and spend approximately 6 mins to watch a video of one of the true stories that might be happened everyday, everywhere....

then
you'll know how sick the society is nowadays...
you'll know how childish the young generations are nowadays...
you'll know how sad the education in our country or your hometown nowadays...

or probably...

you'll wonder why nowadays people used to settle problems using blackmail, violence, and even forced other to take naked pics instead of using a better and cultural way!!

GROSS!!!!!

feel mighty sad every time i watch or read this kind of issue...
and normally the main reason why they are trying to hurt another one is just because of a BASTARD bf! wth!!!

hey girls,

is that worth... to do something illegal because of a SCOUNDREL??
is that worth... to feel guilty for the rest of your time because of a bf that betrayed you by having an affair with another girl???
is that worth... to be blacklisted in the police record in such a young age because of this dude??
is that worth... to be ruined and blemished by this kind of a**hole man??

probably they should consult an eye specialist to check whether they are suffering from severe eye diseases or their eyes are blocked by lots of eyes' poo....
or probably they are still staying under a well like a frog (井底之蛙) and thus they thought there is only a MAN left in this world! that's why they need to fight to win their COMPANION??

HA~~

it's simply saddening and ridiculous to the max....

girls,
you should never limit your everything on a man... there is still lots of thing contain in your life such as family, friends, career, education.... etc!!! life isn't all about love with your BF... i know it's hard to be awake when you are falling in love... but at least, try to be a little bit awake and love yourself more ...
or probably, 'm just an outsider... 'm not able to judge anything by its cover... especially this entangled of love!
but man is the possible roots of all evil, so girls please be aware and do love each other more than loving a man la

sigh

女人何苦为难女人？

and boys,
please be a real man and do responsible for what you had done...
do responsible to the girl that you choose...
do responsible to your commitments..
never dump everything to your girl...
we're only human... we're fragile...
see, we're willing to do such stupid things because of you... but what you are willing to do for us apart from breaking our hearts into pieces??
HA~

sigh again...
it comes to the last day of the two-week-long-holiday
hey, year 3 sem 1... we gonna meet each other again tomorrow!!

:))))))

till then...

-- with deep sigh --

feel like updating my bloggy in the spur of moment when 'm in the half way revising Transport Phenomena which also has been termed as "Terrible Problems" by Ms. MayLin!! how creative & innovative she is!! xp

to be frank, i still don't know the max. level of terrible that this subject can be as my revision progess so far still remain at 30%. yet i know it is much crazier than MTO, which had been screwed badly by me last week!! argh!!!

besides, today is the 2nd time for me to be absented at PPE lecture later on 1230... the 1st time was on last week for preparing MTO test and as consequence screwed the test severely. today, i skip this lecture again just aims to revise TP . will i receive failure once again????

**shrugging**

when 'm in the edge of depression on studies... lucky clover always come to my mind. i know, perphaps you guys may say i'm over superstitious and have blind faith in it. but, the fact is that exams ain't all about how much you have prepared and how much effort you have put on them, but depend on LUCK as well!!!

no matter how much you believe on the fairy tale of lucky clover...
i, personally... would like to share this unique lucky clover to you guys & wish everyone who is going to sit for TP exam tomorrow --- GOOD LUCK and all the best.

god bless me, god bless US!!

kalamansi night

after craving for such a long time, eventually had my favorite ice-cream - kalamansi again... but this time was so much different than previous. at least 'm not having my favorite thing alone like last time. lol.

i know i should not going out at this peak season plus there are still lots of assignmentsss and examsss are waiting for me to complete and prepare. argh!!! what to do, kalamansi is much more attractive ba! HAHA...

had asked my favorite man to help to shoot pics with my favorite ice-cream just now. i know this is kinda childish and stupid but at least i can recall the taste of kalamansi by looking at these pics when i really really miss it! xp

not only that, had gave my favorite man a little gift for his understanding and pampering all the time. a ferrero rocher chocolate which i bought at brunei long long time ago. should be last year if not mistaken. HAHA. to be frank, i felt a little bit guilty as i only give him a gift on specially occasions but he gives me not only special occasions but also when i ask for. HAHA.... that's why i gave him the chocolate which will be expired on his birthday!! HAHAHAHA...


had forced him to post happily when received the chocolate in front of others. 'm really a king of the evil la! what to do, fooling him becomes my favorite habit nowadays! and he seems like enjoy alot! HAHA.. chilled at desserts nearly an hour and took lots of stupid pics together...


a kinda relax night with him but argh!!!! lots of assignments are waiting for me la!!!!!!! :(((((((
till then...

long for...

suddenly I'm thinking of my favorite man darn darn MUCH...
though we just had a meet this afternoon...
though we are sms + ing...
though we are msn + ing...
as thinking of him, fill me with a wonderful feeling... (=
miss his pamper, tenderness, care, voice....
perhaps there is too many occurrences happened around me recently.
had received too many "surprise" giftsSss from people around me.
these are totally none of my business but i just can't stop my mind thinking & make them more terrified.
i just don't know why my expertise is only this!!!
:(

the 2nd day of school...
everything is still in a terrible mess...
probably i still in holiday mood and so, not able to adapt the lifestyle of studying...
i keep feeling sleepy at 9pm ++ ... & wake so early in the morning...
sleepiness is with me at early night & insomnia likes to visit me before dawn..
argh!!!!!
my dark circles... are getting worst & worst...
pimple pops out on my cheek...
it not only offend others' eyes, but it makes me feel PAIN too!!!
:(
honey, i miss u badly!!!!!

&
actually i do miss Chan & Pei Yee too...
life of study is like missing a piece with the absence for both of them at class!!!
nobody gives me lecturer notes to photocopy anymore... :(
nobody gives me pass year final paper to photocopy too...
nobody shares exam tips with me...
nobody teaches & explains to me PATIENTLY when i'm blur...
nobody chit-chat as well...
:(
:(
:(

but
great to know that finally Joanne has found her prince!!!
yo yo yo!!!!
happy pakto + ing!!!

last but not least,
i'm so hate of being fat!!!!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!!!

that's all my grumbles...
till then.... a very good night to you all & myself.
xp

mad mad MAD

argh!!!!!!!!!!
i hate to burn the midnight oil!!!!
i hate to prepare everything last minute!!!!
but why i used to do that in my life!!!

"we are what we repeatedly to do. LAZINESS, then, is not an act, but a HABIT." yhui (1988-xxxx)
suck suck SUCKSS!!!!!!!!!!
laziness please go away from me la!!!

how am i going to sit for the moral studies exam on this coming Monday!!
seriously, I extremely feel so hate to exam on the first day of sch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not able to log in pet society whole day long!!
sigh...
i can't earn coins for my baby...

alright,
time to rest.
MUST finish all lecturer notes by tomorrow!!!!!
i wanna be a MORAL person!!!
yo yo YO!!!
good luck to myself!!

till then...

moral? immoral?

recently i spend most of my time on bluffing...
all because of the moral assignment...
i'm a moral person now, exactly
after bluffing for 10 pages long... (actually less than 10 pages as i attached some pics inside to make this individual report achieve 10 pages long. lol... )

yet,
my bluffing level has upgraded...
& the ways to go shortcut always emerge in my thought. . . . (=
and so, end up with immoral values pour over every cell of my body in order to fulfill the demands of this unit.

my dark eyes circle become serious because of this assignment...
i'm not bluff about this as i just don't know why the ideas to bluff always come to me at midnight.

*sigh*

and now, i'm going to prepare the speech of presentation for next Monday!!!
2 more weeks to the 3rd years of engineering course in my life. . .
now all i wanna do is . . . .. relaxing to the MAX!!!

oh ya, it's a week time to the romantic season! (=

yo yo YO!

yo yo yo!!!!!

second day of CNY! wOw... don't need to be a maid like the 1st day of cny. started to visit relatives house this day. ate lots of high calories homemade cakes and cookies... ... ... all sort of delicious delicacies... yum yum yum. of cause, my weight is gaining too. . . . . . .

& i keep gambling these two days. i'm broke now... totally BROKE. i lost too much. this was the very 1st time i gamble this way. & finally i accepted the truth that gamble luck is never with me. ok, I'll not to touch gamble again from this moment!!!! NEVER EVER!!!!

spent most of my time today at visiting relatives house & gambling. eventually i felt guilty as i still haven't think to start moral assignment yet. argh!!!! five days to the due date!!! argh!!!! still in lazy mode.... somebody please give me a slap to wake me up!!!!! argh!!!!!!!!

here are some pics i took today:

* with sis *

* she's so eager to give me a kiss *

* nah, appease your desire lah .... hahahahhahaha*

& 3rd days of cny... hope can spend most of my time with old classmates. wOw. . . as i always the absentee every year. what to do, human plan is always unable to catch up with changes. seriously, i HOPE i won't make empty promise anymore. (=

till then...

CNY just around the corner

comp monitor switches off and on automatically again... it no longer cooperates with me. no matter how many times i smashed it, it still relucts to compromise with me!!! argh!!!!

i wonder why it used to throws its tantrum to me every time my sista are home?!? either it doesn't like them or it just wanna remain constant to me?? i don't know... or maybe because of other reasons which are beyond my thought.

seriously i don't know how am i going to start my moral assignment with this kind of monitor. *sigh*
probably i can finish my work in time but then i think with 99% I'll become blind as the frequency to switch off and on is getting higher and higher. it was so irritating and frustration seem to pour over every cell of my body!!!

left eye is now suffering from allergic. *sigh* . . . i know my eye just likes to feel itchy itchy without any reason. hope it shall recover asap so that i don't need to wear glasses anytime anywhere during coming CNY. it makes me look . . . . . ermm. . . . . ermmm.. .ermmm. . .lol

yupsss. . . it's three days to CNY. to be frank, i personally scare the 1st day of CNY so so MUCH. so many cups and plates i've to wash... serving guests, relatives... i'm just like a maid that wearing a nice & new costume with messy mood busy here and there and lastly end up with dirtiness, tiredness....

well, eldest sis ain't come back home this year due to the short holiday of her school. i know, celebrates CNY in foreign land does not feel good. as i were in her shoes, sure i'll cry until flood. lol... *sigh* she must be lonely over there...

*sigh*
*sigh*
*sigh*
*sigh*

have to do moral assignment during CNY!!! argh!!!!!!!
i'm now in the mood of CNY!!! how can i be concentrated to do MORAL!!!! argh!!!! even bluffing also no mood la!!!! hahahahhahahhahaha

painful sore

can somebody tell me why my tummy keep feeling hungry for 24 hours recently?

&

can somebody tell me why i keep suffering from gastric pain recently?

&

can somebody tell me why today's pain is so unbearable?

&

can somebody tell me why today's aches are so insufferable?


i do eat my 3 meals on time daily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it really pained me to see myself endure like that.

pls...

stop paining NOW!

i still have 2 exams to go!!!

God, i pray you. . . .

to postpone the pain I've to suffer for this moment until Friday!!


God bless me...

倒数 II

今天很累。。。
没什么念书。。。
也没做什么习题。。。
整天，
都在昏昏沉沉的度过。
如果真的又拿supp。。。
真是活该。
最怕是连拿supp的没机会都没有~

刚刚
你买了芝士蛋糕来
我知道，
你一定认为我看到了会很高兴。
也许，早几天。。。我真的会很开心
你兴奋得告诉我，
你买了两分。。。一个消夜、一个早餐。。
还告诉我。。其中一个是我喜欢的雪糕口味。。。
我知道，
你一定觉得你的用心，让我很感动。。。
也许，早几天。。。我会开心的告诉你，
你记错了我爱的口味。。。心里却暗自在感动

在一起 一年 十个月 一星期 又 两天
原来， 看到你记错我喜欢的口味。。。我怕
原来， 看到你认为我喜欢吃甜的蛋糕。。。我怕
原来， 看见你不了解我的心情时。。。我怕
原来， 看见我们一天天的远了。。。我怕
原来， 看见你不明白我不希罕要来的东西。。。我怕
原来， 看见你我不同的想法。。。我怕
原来， 看见你对我的言语没有反应。。。我怕
原来， 现在的每一天。。。我都在害怕

在多 一个月 三星期 又 一天 就是二周年了
会走到那一天吗？
也许 就算再完美的感情，都藏着心碎和心痛。。。

倒数两天。。。
四叶草。。。花语是幸福
英文又名 lucky clover
希望
身边的人。。。都可以找到属于自己的幸福
也希望
正准备应付考试的我们
一样 lucky

明天又是新的一天。。。
加油！！！

倒数

。。。倒数三天。。。

。。。紧张。。。
。。。紧张。。。
。。。紧张。。。

。。。忧郁。。。
。。。忧郁。。。
。。。忧郁。。。

。。。害怕。。。
。。。害怕。。。
。。。害怕。。。

人家说，对考试感到焦虑。。。
是因为
没有好好的准备

。。。没有时间了。。。
。。。没有时间了。。。
真的。。
没时间了！！！！

为什么，只有考试。。。
不能让我以骆驼心态来面对？？

让我躲进洞里吧！！

内疚 + ing

心情一点都不好受。。。
虽然当事者说没什么
还不断地为“她”说好话
还不断地鼓励我
让我更加的脆弱

不好受
是因为知道他重视我们的友谊
不敢拒绝“她”的无理要求
不好受
是因为知道他明明可以拒绝
却因为“朋友”让他辛苦完成的成品被糟蹋
感觉都是因为我
为什么琳也不拒绝呢？
难道又是我？

为什么别人造的蘖。。。
要我来难过

虽然道歉挽回不了什么
但请容我一声对不起
当然
谢谢你所说的一切

累累的一天

今天超幸运
琳在cafeteria发现了紫色大钞！！！
发钱寒的我们。。。
左想右想。。。
到底要怎么把钱捡起来
再放入自己的口袋
又不被其他人发现？
第一次捡到那么多钱
也是第一次捡到钱
虽然这次是琳捡的。。。
不过我却跟着紧张发冷，
深怕被别人看到我们在做坏事
但是不拿白不拿。。。
我们不拿也是会被人家拿的！哈哈

刚刚叫组员先把mathlab看看
她既然告诉我说她都不会
有种被气到的感觉
但却很平静
真是她奶奶的。。
不会就不用做吗？
至少把那些slides读一下嘛！！！
难道全部人一生下来就会的吗？
我够是不会做啦。。。
还不是硬着头皮问问问问问
问到人家都怕到我了 我还不是脸皮厚厚一直问！

既然还问我够时间做吗。。。
真是她爷爷的！！
既然知道不够时间做了还不要努力点想帮法解决
难道不会想下还有什么可以做的吗？
难道等着别人做好给送你炒吗？
难道一句不会做， TYL 就会不计较给你满分吗？

这世上是没有能不能
也没有会不会
只有要不要。。。
如果要
就能，就会
如果不要
就不能，也不会
希望。。
星期六时，可以把mathlab弄好
一切快点结束

在此
也要向以前的组员说声对不起
终于明白
“我不会做”是多么的讨厌！！！哈哈
很棒的史努比吧！！
哈哈哈

爽

今天
很累
因为熬夜
精神状况特别差
感觉做起事来就像原地踏步 （虽然每次都是那样。。。呵呵）
人家熬夜是为了读书
我呢？
是为了。。。线上游戏
哈哈哈
真是堕落
原本以为自己慢慢上了轨道
却被一个星期的假期完完全全的打垮
没办法，
我的意志力薄弱
天生就比人家差了
却还是那么不争气

今天
有点心痛
毕竟，
挣扎了许久
那一直以来陪伴着我一同上学的包包 断了
不知不觉一年了 那算是你给我的祝福
我想也只有我会明白那是什么祝福
一年来
倪为我的付出却被我彻彻底底的糟蹋了
水壶下雨时，为了我你情愿自己淋湿
书太重，又是倪帮我减轻手臂的负担。。。（虽然这样让我的“蝴蝶袖”一直不能减下来）
钱包、记事本、计算机、笔盒、零钱、纸巾。。。
都是倪在为我效劳
而我呢？却一再的伤害倪
平常总是把倪搁在一旁
只有在需要你时才会看倪一眼
就算如今倪累了
就算倪不再完美了 却还丢下自尊地要我把倪留下
但我也只会再去买个新的来替代倪的工作
工作可以被替代
但感情是不会的
倪对我的好 依然还在我的心底里
但真得很抱歉 真的只能在心底
尝试了很久
直到现在就算是偶尔想起当初倪多我的好
只能很快的打断一切
只有逃避 才可以逃过内心的伤心
。。。
遗憾，是永远都补偿不了的
只有一声 谢谢你

今天
超爽！！
大学那么久
算是第一次。。。考试时大胆的看来看去~
不是没读书。。就想要拿高分点
教授啊教授~~
难道你不觉得悲哀吗？
明天还有一科
我却还闲着没事做在打部落格
累了，
想睡了~
明天早起啃书！！

朋友
你们也一起加油吧！！！

晚安

无聊

终于开始念书了
结果
念了三十分钟 也就是五页
却睡了三个钟
手机的闹钟响了
却被我关了！！
怎么那么堕落啊！
结果，晚上只能一个人在家
只能眼睁睁地看全家人都出去
一个人在家念书！！
好痛恨！！

幸好，
在我念到很 desperate 时
还有三张超丑的相片陪着我
真是他奶奶的
“贱男人”既然我把丑化成那种外星人的样子
不过却满好笑的

第一张寄给我的

他说，
你看。。。太瘦的后果
所以不要减肥
真是有点被感动的

可是，这种感觉很快就没了
因为接下来的两张

他说，
这是太肥的后果~
@.@
谢谢你的提醒！！

废话太多
是时候会去念书了
呵呵
加油加油
加盐加盐
加醋加醋
加肥加肥

O c t o b e r

好快
一个月又这样过了
大学后，
总觉得时间过得好快好快
大学后，
总觉得钱不够用
...

十月
离三个 mid terms 考期进了点
离两份 projects 的截止日期也进了点
离所有事情都进了点
但总觉得自己还在原地踏步
很用心地做，
但为什么头脑就那么输别人很多点
很用心的念，
但为什么总是不争气的被其他事物诱惑而注意力分散

连续找了我的组员两天
今天总算有回音。。
人家都问我为什么不和组员讨论
问得我哑口无言
人家都说最感到骄傲的是。。。
虽然组员没有很聪明的头脑，但所有人都可以很合作
让我超羡慕的。

我想这是报应！
以前的组员都太强了。。。让我没什么机会参与写报告的过程。
现在终于被逼得出手做了~
我不是很聪明
做 project 我真的需要和你们讨论的。。。
再加上我很怀疑自己的能力，所以需要你们的肯定

一直问其他组员的人。。
我真得很不好意思了。。。
虽然不耻下问一直在我脑里盘旋，而他们也很乐于解释给我听
但，我的组员呢？
其他组员也要忙着自己的报告不是吗？
其他人也有考试不是吗？
从希望到绝望。。
然后又在给自己希望
然后又被珩发问的问题打倒。。。绝望
幸好，
今天你的回应，又使我再有希望了！！
希望，这次我们可以好好把东西做好！！
无论结果是如何，
毕竟这过程我们是合作的、有讨论的、有用心的。。。
那才是这份 project 的真正意义不是吗？

不知，
我的那个猪朋友现在好吗？
除了每餐要吃饱外，
也要好好地对待自己啊！！
好好的准备三个考试！
加加加加油！

窗外，
烟火又在燃放着
何时开始，
你们过年也在凌晨12点燃放鞭炮、烟火了？

再见，
伤心的九月