♥dream & memories♥

random update in the middle of night.

2011-10-16T01:57:00.003+08:00

it has been a long long time since i last blog on my blog. more than 2 months i guess. all because of the laziness and the habit of procrastination. i couldn't understand why when i was in Uni i was quite hardworking on updating my blog. right now, 'm like a free bird after working hour but i have no time and no stamina to blog. emm... time really has the power of fading the passion on "something". i always think to come back to blog, to crap, to type, to refresh my english, to hmm... i don't know. i feel like am getting older after i left uni. somebody please tell me why!

oh ya, i have just finished my 3 months of probation period in the company. sadly, 'm still not being reviewed yet and thus hey, 'm not yet being confirmed & qualified as a permanent employee! there are too much things to talk about my work place, my work condition, my feeling to this and that, to you and him and her and whatsoever. remember last time an experience people told me that, to be a professional, you've to keep low profile. that's why i don't feel like talking the issues in public. not even share with my family members as i was tired to think about JOBS when 'm home. but 'm only human. i need someone to listen. to understand. to know. to feel. the feeling of me. i know that i shouldn't give up easily. i know i should think the reason why and what makes me hold on for so long when i feel like giving up.

hmm... i'm not happy at all. and this unhappy feeling started to be with me gradually and accumulated day by day. second by second. i realized that the longer i working at the company, the sadder i will be.

argh.

to be continued.

=[

2011-08-05T06:23:00.001+08:00

一直叫琳不要紧张
自己一大早起床后却穷紧张
怎么办

我很怕！

2011-07-03T21:07:00.001+08:00

如果你爱她/他
那就要伤害她/他
因为内疚
永远都是维系爱情的最好方法

好讽刺的电影
婚前试爱

=)

noob's day

2011-06-12T22:59:00.004+08:00

great to have him to stay by my side throughout all these years
for not giving up on me
yet still
gave me the best of everything... and
he is just more than anything else in the world...

♥

and eventually i found that

i ♥ him

as if how he loves me

2011-06-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

当了五天的补习老师
突然有点心得
原来一个人是否聪明其实是决定于自己
而
是否比其他人弱却是天生的。。。

面对那些学生尤其是那些解释了一千遍都不明白的学生
我其实不是失望是很伤心。。。
为什么会酱

各位爸爸妈妈
如果
你不能教你不会教你不要教你没时间教
如果
你觉得金钱可以买回一切
如果如果
。。。。

也许酱说很不好很悲观
但真的请你们行行好
不要为了短暂的私欲
带他们来这残酷的世界
却弃之不顾忘了自身真正的责任

各位还没生小孩的男男女女
也该想清楚了
别为了。。。。生而生

2011-05-28T22:18:00.002+08:00

so....

i actually can't figure out how long i do not update my recent circumstance by posting in this long-abandoned blog. =) thus am right here crapping to entertain those who wish to be entertained.

yea, it is a great saturday night. no beer. no night life. a kinda healthy and relaxing one. listening to some soft love songs in the room which only equipped with myself. writing some words on the book that belongs to us... and so and so. somehow i enjoy alone quite much. and that's why i can breath a sigh of relief after dump my pitiful noob home. being alone is not that bad after all. =)

....

actually i have quite alot to say but.... due to the laziness. so i will only summaries the most important one. LOL

believe that parting is not an ending... but it is another new beginning. Ms. Yeo, i wanna tell you that i am deeply impressed by your determination, your spirit for being firm and without being beaten down by hesitations or obstacles. the most amazing thing is that to beat against the odds!!!! you know what you want exactly and you try your best to strive toward your goals. for sure, life over there would not be an easy one. always keep the reason that bring you there in mind especially the time when you are depressed.

祝福你啦！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

结婚时，你不请我我也要脸皮厚厚的去啦！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

加油！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

2011-05-04T00:33:00.002+08:00

话说有一天。。。有一个傻婆
买了染发剂
然后隔一天
傻婆心血来潮。。。就开始帮自己的头发染了。。。
但
当泡泡放好后。。。
傻婆就开始坐在电脑前面打打敲敲
结果一敲就是
一句钟

冲好头发。。。
面对镜子。。。
心里就在想。。。
这一次
事情大条了！！！！

='(

你知道我要说什么吗？
如果你不知道也没关系
看照片
如果看不懂也没关系
因为这是傻婆
傻婆
傻婆

还有那个他他他
可以不要烦我了吗？
谢谢晚安

突如其来

2011-04-26T23:48:00.002+08:00

忽然
想要块芝士蛋糕
忽然
想要一个人在雨天喝咖啡
仿佛回到那一天
忽然
想要提起更新部落格的干劲
忽然
想回到从前从前
那个很快乐的我
忽然
那碗 mogolian chicken 让味蕾在抗议
忽然
脆弱需要人陪
忽然
需要一点点酒精热热身体
忽然
想要逛街补补货
忽然
。。。
好多的忽然

人生其实不过如此
加油好不好
不要不要
往后看

=)

2011-04-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

actually i have so much to say but i've no time to crap. fml.. i wanna sleep!!!!! but i can't. still on the progress. nobody knows... how stress am i! fml fml fml fml...... =(

probably i can write a good one after i finish the interview. blah...

all i need is courage and confidence...

2011-04-03T14:03:00.001+08:00

四月，很脆弱。一个人，一个人。。。将要提着行李，离开堡垒，离开这个保护了我快23年的地方。一个人越过十万八千里，一个人来到一直很向往却陌生的城市。真的不知哪来的勇气、哪来的决心、哪来的 foreign currency... 每当想起那些恐惧，就开始想躲起来，离开世界的喧闹，一个人，疗伤。其实自己没本事不该把责任怪罪在大家，把我保护地好好的是因为他们爱我，而我，应该好好珍惜而不是堕落。所以我只好努力让勇气战胜恐惧。

其实我没有自信，我懦弱，我怕事。。。但我还可以很好，因为即使天塌了下来，都还有人让我靠。我很幸福，却偏偏要选择艰巨的路途。也许就因为人生很短，哪怕是失败，也不能错过，不该遗憾。所以我可以很自私，可以不顾一切，一个人，为了自己的未来，背弃所有爱我的人。哈~狮子。最爱的永远是自己。

还在为自己的忍心而内疚时，原来爱我的人都不会计较我的自私，却还帮助我，让自己可以好好的追逐那看不到未来的未来。就算有天累了倦了，哪天不再年轻了，回来了，也会不计前嫌的让我靠。所以我一直在想，如果有一天。。。大家都不理我了，一定是我活该！

也许真的该好好面对自己。没时间害怕了，接下来的日子要好好地利用时间，不再浪费在害怕上，而是。。准备面试的资料，加强自己。就算不被录取也没关系，至少，那是自己尽力努力去争取的，那是不辜负支持我的人。

加油吧！许燕惠!

2011-03-24T10:52:00.001+08:00

很久很久。。都没来这里胡说八道了。以前的那种热忱，消灭了。也许是没了人生的目标，很。。彷徨。很无助。很无奈。我真的不知道。。。自己在干嘛！！！啊。。。我好想。。。躲起来

=(

2011-03-04T23:28:00.001+08:00

i'm confused. confused. confused.

2011-03-03T00:19:00.001+08:00

很棒但秘密不再是秘密
以为以为永远没有人了解
哈
其实很多事情不是绝对的

好吧。
我还是很positive的我

2011-02-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

狮子座偶尔很执著
也许是面子的关系
有些要的东西
可以等很久很久
也许换来的不过是不确定的
都会开心一阵子
这样很白痴很傻
但开心就是福

就算是谎言
也还要说谢谢
因为至少有了快乐
短暂也无所谓

2011-02-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

很努力真得很努力
但这只是开始

为我加油好吗

2011-02-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

and finally,
i'm starting to suffer from the pain of
orthodontic treatment.
cries.

spark gone, love blossom

2011-02-14T23:18:00.003+08:00

我想
不只是今天
明天后天大后天
还有以后的每一天
都会如今天般幸福
不需要在今天刻意让那些
礼品店首饰店餐厅赚大钱

每一年的情人节都是难忘的
今天第五个情人节
不需要很复杂很奢侈很豪华
简单得让人明白
快乐很简单

我很快乐
你呢？

大大口吸气

2011-02-13T22:11:00.002+08:00

对啊。。。
这将会是最后一张照片
最后一张拔掉四颗牙前的照片
接下来的18个月
对不起
我会丑下去

很害怕
但希望我不哭

只是 emo 一下　一下

2011-02-12T23:28:00.003+08:00

想你的时候
头仰得特别高
大声对着黑呜呜的天空说
我好想你
再让眼泪倒流

星期六晚上
特别需要人陪

越是刻意
越是刻骨铭心

2011-01-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

packing packing.. i'm so sleepy
.sighs.

2011-01-20T23:46:00.001+08:00

没什么
今天不知道哪来的勇气
既然 wax 了整张脸
真得很变态
很痛很痛
痛死我了
却没有回头的余地
不过
现在没有毛毛脸了
哈哈哈哈哈哈

啊。。。为什么当女人那么难丫！

long long rainy day!

2011-01-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

went back Starbuck to double check about the '11 planner redemption since today was the last day to redeem.. the answer still the same - short of stock and asked me to wait. but this time was better, as my name and hp no. were printed in a folder, and u know, there was about 100 names have been printed before mine. gosh!! i thought i'm the craziest one. but in reality, i'm not alone. somebody out there really try to drink 12 grande size drinks at Starbucks just aimed to redeem a planner which cost rm 55. LoL... please let me get it in hand as soon as possible weyy!!

and erm... alot to say but ermmm...

blah... night~

=)

2011-01-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

这张很丑双下巴都出来了
是宝贝肥-licia 硬要帮我拍的
既然还被规定要带上她 hippo 的东东摆上指定的 pose
然后告诉我说等下要上载上facebook
天啊，现在的小孩都那么 IN 吗！！！
很丑但今天很开心
所以大家笑笑就好了

还有
累计很久的12个印章
好感动
因为我读书都没那么努力

哈哈哈哈哈哈

朋友，真的，
很重要！

bin bin

2011-01-11T23:46:00.003+08:00

好多好多的话想说
但是都说不出口
没说出口
问题是解决不了
也许我真的没有很好
没有。。。一点都不好
but don't ask me the reason why..
i'll just lie and say that i'm fine!

:'(

2011-01-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

i wanna dye my hair too
hide
*

dilemma

2011-01-09T10:05:00.002+08:00

seriously i do not know the limit of a lie...
and i do not really mind you cheat... that's not my business.
but am i really look like a 3 years old kid?
that makes you think my brain is full of water...
that's why you keep telling lie and assume that i will not know about that...
human is ugly. i really meant it.

2011-01-05T23:08:00.001+08:00

丢脸丢到我不想提
所以莫名得很down
就是很多莫名其妙的事情在发生。。。
argh~~

2011-01-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

sighs... i'm so emo wey~~

2011-01-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

男人还没厌倦你时
u're everything
男人对你生厌时
com'on
就算你为他付出了一切
他看你一眼都懒得

就算是十多年的夫妻又怎样
就算是儿孙满堂又如何
就算妻离子散没人送终有什么问题
com'on
灯关了还是狐狸精温柔体贴

老不羞

lamer

2011-01-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

missed the last post on '10
shouldn't miss the post on first day of '11
alright, happy happy new year...

LOLLL

wake up and face the truth beybee

2010-12-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

alright, i'll definitely finish resume, cover letter, and whatsoever shits that need to be used for applying jobs as an engineer by tomorrow. no more delay. no more excuse. no more laziness. no more procrastination, no more rice worm, no more .... =)

get ready for interview, get ready for working, yea.. i wanna work outside MIRI weyyyy...!! god bless me ..

...

2010-12-29T00:00:00.003+08:00

he said he felt touched to receive McD dinner from me. to be frank, i'm pretty sad to hear about this. throughout these years, what have i actually done for you? nothing. nothing. not even a single little thing i can recall from my mind. is thinking how am i going to celebrate anniversary with you. but i've no idea totally. sighs. everything will be easier if i were a boy....

just ignore me.

blahhh... night!

=)

2010-12-26T23:40:00.004+08:00

hmp, it has been so many years since i last straighten my hair. more than 4 years i think. and so, today i went saloon and got my hair done. unfortunately, i keep telling myself that i'll not try to do this once again during these processes. com'on, it was like living in bloody hell every second. so pain. and still pain. body pain. legs pain. hands pain. head pain. hair pain. why, why, why, why we must suffer so much before get everything done! darn. well, i got a very funny fringe again. please grow longer faster wey.....

yet, 've got piona structure in black as Christmas gift. specially thanks to my beloved Santa bf. LOLLL~

the last week of 2010.. hmmm...

2010-12-21T22:36:00.002+08:00

can somebody tell me when do i apply for Schlumberger. or somebody help me to APPLY? received an email from the recruiting team 莫名其妙-ly and be told that i was not employed. so curious. never apply any company yet. and Schlumberger rejected me already. damn!

=.=

戒不了

2010-12-19T23:31:00.000+08:00

下雨天离开的这一天
一个人大步走在购物中心
很软弱却故作坚强
越是没自信越是装得很自信
没心情却假装投入看着旅行用品
才明白会冷的地方都是有钱人的玩意儿

附在窗外的雨珠都是累积的思念
一口口的吸进最爱的 ice-blended chocolate cream chip
一边翻阅了两本杂志
我想路过的陌生人都用很异样的眼光观察这个怪怪的女生
没理会加注在身上的任何意见和评语
很冷很冷只想一个人一个人
好好地喝完最爱的 guilty pleasure
那个我想念的 guilty pleasure
倪是我的唯一但我却不能成为倪的唯一

会努力喝完十二杯累计十二个印章
兑换本子然后我会忘记倪
忘记倪的味道忘记倪的甜味忘记倪给的一切
开玩笑，

我一点都不想戒掉倪

2010-12-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

omg, love my pinky lenses
:p

2010-12-17T19:38:00.002+08:00

不相信这都是命运的安排
只相信命运要玩残我
明明是个6 却看出个9
明明是双6双8 却看出三个6一个8
就算斗不过命运我也不会认输的
等着瞧吧！

:D

2010-12-15T10:18:00.002+08:00

很多年前还记得望着姐姐们挂在墙上的毕业照心里一直在想我会不会是哪个最没出息的就是读了大学却没本事毕业的那个。真的，我都很佩服哥哥姐姐们。哥哥虽然不读大学，至少创出自己的事业，供车供店供房子，姐姐们毕业了，都没我懦弱，自己赚钱，然后偶尔救济我下。

原来现在我真的毕业了。成绩虽然中下，但也还是毕业了。哈哈哈哈哈。很快我的毕业照就要挂上了哦~~ 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

还有，真的要谢谢我最笨的男朋友。他很笨我喜欢 :D

2010-12-14T20:41:00.000+08:00

说着说着
我们都哭了
:')

老板，明天可以不上班吗？

2010-12-13T23:02:00.000+08:00

没有流掉几公升眼泪
所以还是一样没有瘦

本来还要哈拉的
可是一边写一边聊天
聊天多过写写写
聊完了也忘了要写什么

晚安

2010-12-11T23:26:00.001+08:00

sobs
my eyes

=)

2010-12-09T11:59:00.002+08:00

seriously, i wanna work offshore.
not all because of the high pay.
i just want try something which i never try before.
=)
they said i'll regret. they said it's difficult. they said all bad things about offshore.
i don't care. at least let me try once.
:)

but which company is going to hire me?
halliburton?
schlumberger?

nah....
they're famous and well-established companies.
i'm just... nothing

星期三

2010-12-08T10:50:00.002+08:00

越刻意想忘记
越是忘不掉

没有很刻意
只是很想要
所以忘不了
哈哈哈哈哈

好啦
我一点都不想忘记
那些都是
很好的回忆
很好的经验

我很开心
我很好

只是原来每天见面很腻
真的见到想吐血了
也许我们都是向往自由的两个人
没什么
我只是无聊透了

原来当花瓶
也是一种很辛苦的工作

不要再说花瓶是没用的！！

=)

2010-12-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

终有一天
会习惯
=)

依然是optimist啦~~~

2010-12-05T10:18:00.002+08:00

忽然伤心了两秒
没什么
只是我太傻
没什么
只是喜欢傻

没什么
以后不会傻了啦~~~

:D

happy? sad?

2010-11-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

do not know what should i feel now.
happy or sad?
hmmm...
4 years.
times flies.

without you guys, there's without me here.

thanks! thanks to the disgusting gurl as well.
=)

are you happy today?

2010-11-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

4 days 3 nights road trip with family is finally came to the end. the very first time i found myself love mama's hometown. love the feeling when a big whole family gathers together. met with those cousins that we used to play when we were still a kid but have not met each other for about 10 years or more than that. hahaha.. so feeling is so weird eh....

yay, suddenly no mood to crap. that's all from me!

=)

2010-11-23T09:10:00.000+08:00

最可怕的不是孤单

...
是寂寞

bibipupu

2010-11-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

a very simple Sunday. it's just like the way i always wanted. spent the whole morning to tidy my comp table and bedroom.. and spent the rest of 12 hours for doing things other than FYP amendment. yet, i'm kinda happy... life's always as simple as that...

and dang dang... i bought this, spent most of my time to glue here and glue there... omg! these nearly drive me to insane because they're really in miniature. and imagine my fingers are kinda large size! >"<
while, the measurements given inside the user manual are totally different from reality. hmmm, still cracking my head to figure out how to make the wineglasses... sighs. as the glue provided is not able to stick the transparent plastic paper. and the cardboard for making the box for displaying the ring is totally not in correct size. argh! and another bunch of flower to go.

alright, i'll be obedient. only come back to this after done with fyp
=)

eeoo

2010-11-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

looking back those pics taken in bygone days... yay~ suddenly i miss my long curly hair.. which is highlighted with red color! omg, an impulsion to push me to go saloon and get my hair done once again. i know i'm tedious with my hair now again. alright, i hate it!! hopefully tomorrow when i get up, those evil minds to spend money will be gone, gone, and gone from my brain!!

save... save... be SAVE, YHUI!

the final final exam in Uni life...

2010-11-19T10:36:00.005+08:00

so sickening to study those lecture notes. all about memorizing! theory, and everything is theory. i'm getting old and i just can't remember anything. the forward hedging, option hedging, interest rate hedging... com'on i totally don't understand at all eh!!! no solutions for those examples at all! hmp... how to sit for the exam later on? gosh! still alot to go.... ON~

2010-11-18T15:41:00.001+08:00

pissed off

mistake

2010-11-17T22:15:00.002+08:00

sometime you have to make a big mistake
to figure out
how to make things right.
mistakes are painful
but
they're the only way to find out the reality
...

MACAROONsSs!

2010-11-15T12:07:00.004+08:00

=)

green. red. yellow. white. black. blue. orange...
and.. a lot a lot...
i want all these
i don't mind to be fat

=)

i just dono what am i typing about... LoL

2010-11-13T02:16:00.000+08:00

ehem...
'people' used to complain that i spend too less time to update my blog recently... and 'people' actually is the one who do not update her blog most of the time. LoL

ehem... actually nothing to blog. somehow i think blogging is kinda boring. perhaps because of my tedious life. alright, i should learn my past experience, try to update a blog a day. lol... and eventually went McD on the second day of its opening. as expected, the place was crowded. this's mirian style i would say. didn't try the drive thru service, just Q in the long Q. first time experience big Mac... nice. guess would be nicer to me if i like beef. and huge fries, cola...

and eventually, my tummy was damn full. i need to lay down to make myself not so 撑~~ LMAO

... and craving for macaroon la.. gonna try the maraconsss from babycakes ♥ sweet shoppe when i'm at kl next year on Feb. wanna wanna buy a box to my honey bee.

=)

2010-11-08T00:20:00.002+08:00

have to save from now onward.
am start looking for the day which i wait for so long....
but to achieve these, the first thing must to do is to work hard...
:p
hire me please... if there is any vacancy..
i don't mind to work as any position....

most importantly,
not to spend on unnecessary stuff anymore..
ANYMORE!
=)

2010-11-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

yawn.

time flies . and it's less than 2 days to the submission of design project. so little time, yet, so many to be completed. yay, always telling myself not to procrastinate today's work to tomorrow... and tomorrow and tomorrow... and tomorrow... endless tomorrow. eventually, the accumulated tasks are as high as a big mountain when it comes to the submission date. end up with sleepless night. rushing until my ass off. worrying. nervous. this's my style perhaps. never learn the lesson and spend most of my time in regretting. somehow i feel i'm kinda ..hmm..., spending previous time during this peak season updating my blog when everyone is just concentrating their works. yups, life's still go on no matter how much assignments are waiting to be accomplished.

drinking the second cup of coffee, yet they just not able to chase away those drowsiness and sleepiness. hello panda accompanies me to stay up. tables are full of notes, papers, and so to my junk foods. my snacks. those were bought by you... you. it has been a week. i thought, i would not think of you. yay, i've no time to do so. i've no time to listen to your begging. no time to think about anything about you and me. and i suddenly realize how could i treat you like this....

yawn
back to work.
=)

2010-10-31T00:46:00.000+08:00

9 journals to study...
hmmmm....
life...

2010-10-29T23:45:00.002+08:00

结果我变成了蘑菇头好伤心

goals for tomorrow

2010-10-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

to finish the process and mechanical designs of minor equipment!
:p
wish me luck for memo 4 feedback tomorrow
god bless
night to you, you, you, and you..

i'm loving it!

2010-10-24T02:45:00.000+08:00

was deeply impressed by this product after using twice. this is seriously just way too nice for a lazy girl as me. alright, this product was firstly introduced by my cousin when i attended cousin's wedding some day on June. and i finally bought this a week ago during a day trip to brunei with honey bee and his family. guess i should share my experience on this product with my lovely frens because it's just nice! nice! NICE!

what actually is this? well, it's a kind of wet tissue with function of removing make up. tadaaAaaa.... normally i have to use AT LEAST 3 cottons to wipe off the make up on my face using cleansing milk. and most of the time, i need to wash my face with cleansing foam and then re-remove my make up once again to ensure that those make up are no longer sticking on my face!! hey, it's not only time consuming, wasting money, and actually a very tedious routine! most importantly, the time i usually remove my make up is the moment that i'm kinda sleepy. but with this cleansing wipe, hey hey, i can just finish everything within 1 min. and it's clean, clean, and CLEAN! it's not oily, but give a fresh feeling!

what a great invention to girls!! should try this if you never try before!! :)

alright, it's time to hit the bed!! another brand new hectic and challenging week is coming! god bless me to stay until the last week of the sem! =)

~。~

2010-10-22T20:25:00.001+08:00

星期五
忽然和寂寞很靠近
忽然和空虚很亲密
忽然。。。
忽然需要人陪

如果你了解
你会懂我没有很棒
如果你明白
你会听到我的失望
如果你知道
你会体会我其实假装得好痛
。。。

whooops!

2010-10-21T03:53:00.001+08:00

3.53 am
21st Oct 2010
memo 4 is completed
alright, i just simply
do .. do.. do
5 marks & my liver is so hurt
god damn Uni life..

=)

2010-10-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

我想我要好好谢谢你的妈妈
没有她没有你
没有你我是谁

=)
谢谢你给了我那么棒的男人

:)

2010-10-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

....
我家的大哥
....

=)

不要再否定他了好吗？=)

2010-10-11T21:47:00.003+08:00

还记得那一年的新年倒数
一起到夜店狂欢
结果很多人看到我所谓的男友
隔天却说他很丑

还记得那一年和同学的聚餐
所谓的男友一同去了
结果过后同学告诉我说
他配不起我

还记得刚在一起时
他的名字可以臭到香港去
那些三姑六婆不停在妈妈而边加油加醋
真得很抱歉要让你们那么操心
不过幸好我从来不是很在乎别人如何评论我
反而说的越难听我越开心

其实爸爸从来也没喜欢过他
我明白因为爸爸从来不可能会喜欢
女儿的男朋友
任谁也不会喜欢霸占了自己捧在手心当宝贝的小子

其实
一路以来配不起的人是我是我配不起他
也许他很丑可是你不懂他多好

你们还可以继续说我差
但不要说我眼光低
不是带个老爸有钱的小子
不是带个大学毕业的小子
不是带个长得好看的小子
不是带个你们觉得条件很好的小子
那又怎样。。。
错了，不是我带他。。。
是他带我，我被带。。。

对我，他是最棒的!!!
虽然有时我还是很怕孩子生下来长得像他。。。
呵呵呵呵呵呵

dilema

2010-10-10T22:25:00.001+08:00

feel really bad the moment when i'm short of words to post something here. in fact, i've a lot to share. a lot to talk. a lot to tell. but everything just disappears in the spur of moment when i come to this page. feel like going to sg on the coming Christmas. i always have an impulsion to swaps the maybank online transaction atm card to book the indirect-flight-ticket which cost me about 900 bucks. 900 bucks which is also able to buy a return air ticket to Taiwan. hence, it's time to think twice.

hopefully someday i'll awake from being afraid of traveling alone... hey leo, you should be brave! :D

and i wanna trim my bush hair... i wanna buy a shoes.... i wanna to be who i am

... as simple as that.

break the record

2010-10-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

three plates of mussels.
satisfied.
yummmmMMmmm

guilty pleasure~

2010-10-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

hmmm...
too much of supper
continuously within these few days

T.T

:D

2010-10-06T00:17:00.002+08:00

alright, right here to bull some shit since i've simply and roughly done with my fyp by translating them in a journal paper template. gosh, it's just wasting my time. i would rather spend my time on designing the major and minor equipment for DP. i know i'm a good-for-nothing so just let me to be a good-for-nothing. i'm very FINE with that. i have no motivation, impulsion, interesting and whatsoever to make my research a publish journal currently. so sorry. that's totally your problem to overrate me! :D

remember last saturday sis asked me a very weird question...

Sis:"hey, tell me truly, are you have another bf outside?"
me:"why are you guys saying SO? mum asked me this question past few days also. >.< "
Sis:"coz we found that you always go out on Thursday night, and most importantly, u drive."
me:"com'on, when did i always go out on Thursday night?..."
Sis:"got la got la... we (ah sou, sis, mum... and whoever) notice it long time ago..."
me:" siao~~~"

shooooot~.... is this because of the characteristic of LEO~ which is easily being misunderstood by other? even i'm going out with a guy, it doesn't meaning that he's my bf............ this's already 21st century....

well, there was another so embarrassing moment in my life. it was last sat afternoon.... one of the buttons on my cloth was loosen, probably due to my big boobs, and i was outside. T.T....... then i walked shyly in boulevard to find a new shirt to replace it. urgh~~~ well, the promoter laughed at me when i finished changing my newly bought shirt~~~ argh!!!!!!!

randoms

2010-10-03T20:43:00.002+08:00

had a very great days after dp presentation. it was 0% of production on studies, yet, i like these moment. the moment which am waiting for too long....5 years maybe or more than that.. but it's time to wake from all these right now.... am no longer little girl, i'm tough enough to handle all these, to face the truths.

another hectic month, hi, OCT!

because

2010-09-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

i'm just no longer who i am....
:'(

2010-09-27T22:20:00.001+08:00

是开始
也是结束

哈哈哈

F.M.L

2010-09-26T03:46:00.000+08:00

alright, off to bed...

doom life

2010-09-24T21:54:00.003+08:00

missing you could turn the pain to pressure
if i knew you were missing me too
...

so...
ugly~
i don't mind to be ugly...

我。我。我。

2010-09-24T01:11:00.001+08:00

。。。
是在期待什么吗？

我。。。
。。。我

blurrrrrr

2010-09-19T01:04:00.001+08:00

心里的秘密越多
快乐越少

很冷很冷
为什么知道事实的要是我
为什么接受残酷的又是我
>.<
i'm only human...
i don't really mind if there is fairness to me
what i need is just simple
i just want you to spend some time,
try to stay at my situation
and feel what i felt!

no hatred.
but sadness.

没什么

2010-09-16T21:26:00.002+08:00

没什么只是
最近每天一早翻开报纸
好多好多对新人共结连理
呵呵

又是结婚的季节

我喜欢你

2010-09-15T18:47:00.002+08:00

我喜欢你
因为我可以很丑很丑
架着很丑的眼镜
短裤衬衫人字拖
不在乎别人的眼光
出街约会也可以很开心

我喜欢你
因为我可以很粗鲁很粗鲁
在车上把脚挂高
屁屁何时任我放
吃饱打嗝随我意

我喜欢你
因为我可以很坏很坏
生气开心有礼物
对不起永远是你的胜利永远是我的
还有还有电话一通你就到

我喜欢你
因为不需要特意掩饰自己
我喜欢你
因为好的坏的你想到的都是我
我喜欢你
因为我喜欢被这样喜欢着

我真的喜欢你其实是爱自己
狮子座是不会爱别人的
它之所以爱你是因为它爱自己
因为爱自己所以我喜欢你
我讨厌自己太爱自己
没有把爱给你

yawn~

2010-09-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

slap slap
wake up
:)

胡言乱语

2010-09-13T23:46:00.002+08:00

原来其实也不过如此
对不起为了私欲
选择伤害了别人

我很抱歉
对你对她
对大家

一定是梦
明天醒来就过去了
但梦醒了一次又一次
还是过不去
过不去
。。。

muaks!

2010-09-13T01:50:00.002+08:00

0150
13th of September
memo 2 is done!

:D

+_=

2010-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

如果每一天都是今天
多好
...

when there's oat cracker, there's dp time.

2010-09-10T21:10:00.004+08:00

deeply fall in love with oat cracker recently, all because of dp...
the reason is simple - oat cracker is the one and only companion when 'm doing dp in the lab and most importantly, they appease my appetite !!! while another benefits of oat cracker is that it helps for smooth defecation..poo poo. :D
alright, memo 2 is almost there. i love my group members now! i'm not kidding!

:D

+_+

2010-09-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

exhausted

can't really imagine what would be happened for memo 3 and memo 4

design project is damn exhausting!

:(

没关系

2010-09-07T22:40:00.001+08:00

嘀嗒嘀嗒嘀
窗外的雨声滴进我的心
窗外的雨滴滴进我的眼

呼呼呼呼呼
窗外的风声吹进我的心
窗外的风温冷进我的心

不停重复的乐曲不知量力
努力覆盖那悲伤的声音
殊不知
是声音淹没了一切

很累很冷所以额外脆弱
如果能有冬眠
那哪天醒来过后
已雨过天晴

没关系
没关系
就是那样一直重复催眠自己没关系
那就真的会变没关系了
:)

0609

2010-09-06T22:47:00.002+08:00

明年今日景物依旧
却人事全非
同样的地点同样的时间
不会出现同样的脸孔同样的笑声
突然好多心情涌上心头
四个年头原来可以快得让人窒息
明年今日各分东西
在不一样的环境打拼着

忽然有点舍不得
很辛苦的大学
其实是因为想逃避更难过的社会大学

。。。

:)

2010-09-05T01:08:00.004+08:00

“有些时候吃东西不一定是因为肚子饿
就像是呼吸不代表是想要活着"
....
quoted from old cow vs. tender grass
i like i like i really like movies produced from sing'pore...

sat night, raining night
i was pretty shocked when i knew about what you did
com'on
you're the scum of the society i would say
please just make yourself disappear from now onwards
and stop from creating lotsa problems
for sure, you're the god damn jerk
personally, i felt ashamed for you seriously

i DESPISE you, truly deeply and madly
please just go to the HELL and get burned with the fire.
soon, you'll deserve what you SHOULD deserved!

这样很好

2010-09-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

不想变到现在如此无心无力
我想你懂你懂我有多难过
难过到没心没力去说什么
难过到连提起手机打简讯都不想了
忽然觉得这样很好
真得很好

就是这样一只说很好
那就会真的变很好

happy birthday to malaysia

2010-08-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

自小就被教育爱国情操傻乎乎以为这片土地很简单
长大以后才发现其实不是我们不爱自己的国家
而是国家不能接受我们更何况是来爱我们

五一三事件更本就无法成为人民甚至政府官员的警惕
因为人们都犯了大家都会犯的错那就是忽略历史的重要性
前几天面子书上传了来自Tunku Abdul Rahman 孙女的文章
身在异乡她说以往她会说自己是马来人
但现在她会告诉大家她是马来西亚人
*赞* 马来人的骄傲马来西亚的骄傲！

一个马来西亚的理念很正确但其实行动起来也不过如此
目前大家都在嘲笑菲力宾的特别没种部队
但其实这个国家的一切也不输于菲国
原来一个马来西亚
就是要区分国小与华小难道华小是在培育其他国家的栋梁吗？
很可笑全世界大部分国家承认的独中文凭
仅有它懦弱地说这是不被承认的
过度保护人民只会造就他们胡言乱语思想浅断
黄明志出口辱骂某学校校长的短片即将受到法律的对待
那为何那些在面子书上辱骂华人和印度人是 anjing 的马来人却从来没受到这一些所谓煽动种族问题的法律给制裁

因为一开始就没公平过。。。一开始就被繁琐的保护法令维护着
所谓古人签下的教育法令不过是你们喜欢拿出来说行不得的借口
人是活的法令是死的死朝着错误的那和死人有分别吗？
其实没必要去争什么的。。。
有机会就离开这里吧
真的
别回来了别回来报答所谓的祖国了
不是我们叛国是我们被逼得叛国是被遗弃了。。。

国庆日
在这季节好讽刺

2010-08-30T00:58:00.002+08:00

你说我在羞辱你
com'on
你也不想想
还不是你曾经所作的一切
让我神经兮兮
还不是那些的过去
造就我患有被害妄想症

随便你想要想什么
因为那都不重要。。。
要不是你
我看不到我的肥蜜蜂
谢谢

:D

mine yours

2010-08-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

You are the best thing that's ever been mine...

i hope to be the best thing that's ever been yours as well...

love you

untitled

2010-08-29T00:45:00.002+08:00

seriously short of words to express my feeling recently. hmm.. and now i'm short of words again! sighs! free week is never free. i must work hard. work hard. and dream less... god bless me and bless my beloved ones! hi Sunday!

给你们的啦

2010-08-24T16:19:00.004+08:00

ehem~

要出来“乔”女生的男生们
如果怕给自己的女朋友知道自己在外面多会“乔”
那就请回家喝老奶
不要出来丢男生们的脸更不要出来丢人现眼

如果怕她知道意味着你还很在乎她
那就甘心在家修身养性不要出来搞三搞四
难道那样伤害来伤害去很过瘾吗？
老天天生让你们拥有两颗蛋
就是要你们把胆拿出来
敢做却不敢当
哈~ 无耻无赖无聊

ma sunday

2010-08-22T23:52:00.001+08:00

so so so many things happened within a day! of course including a very happy dating with my man whole day long. went choosing my favorite brand of lappie, but too bad it was only market survey around... blah, most importantly was that no pinky version. urgh~~ i want PINK PINK PINK!!! alright, followed by lunch at the worst japanese restaurant in the city and movie at the one and only cinema in the town~ wEeeEeeE~~yea, nobody knows that i actually only able to "enjoy" all these "privileges" after angry for about 3 days long. darn, nowadays being as a gf is really hard. LoL~~ well, guess the sweetest moment was that when we went into a jewelery shop and choose for our couple rings for engagement!! LoL~ i'm just joking about the engagement.... awWwwWwww... laptop, rings, laptop, rings... ~~ only 1... only 1... :((( blah, want the one start with L! thanks! LoL~~

mine favorite baby octopus

his favorite crab

hungry hungry

the only place that ah nong can be. so pity

a no-need-to-sleep night

2010-08-19T00:14:00.002+08:00

yups. so many things to be done.
slacking too much previously and that's why need to stay up late now.
stupid. no more last minute ok!

omg...
i'm so sleepy already!!!!

阿笨

2010-08-15T22:40:00.001+08:00

你不爱我当我很爱你时
没关系虽然快咳死了
死溅婆死公狗
我就喜欢这样私下称呼你们怎样？

阿肥
加油呗加油呗
原来我神经了
哈呵哈呵哈呵

这一贴献给你

2010-08-11T23:40:00.003+08:00

“
我爱你你爱她她爱她她爱他
你爱我我爱他他爱他他爱她
咦
怎么这世界已经没有人相爱
怎么这世界每个人都不快乐
怎么这世界每个人都爱别人
。。。
不爱自己
”

现在年轻人的通病。。。不就是太不爱自己了吗？

那天与老朋友见面了，好久不见的朋友，出乎意料的还是能够聊得那么多，原来好朋友不用时常见面，也可以保持原来友好的关系。那一年，她不过是个单纯天真的女孩。留学台湾两年，依然没变。不一样的是交了个来自异国的初恋男友。单纯天真的性格，让她以为彼此就可以那样幸福恩爱地结婚，甚至是携手到老。男方无论是家庭背景，为人处事。。。都是顶呱呱。很遗憾，因为距离，分手了，受伤了，心情糟透了，体重急速下降了。真的以为她会为此意志消沉，但聊天过后，发现在原地踏步的人，是我。她说的每一句话，都让我惊讶！！！那些，都是以往不可能从她口里听到的！她说女孩最重要是有内涵。她说她觉得把钱花在升学很值得。她说她享受单身。她说她还有好多事情还没完成。她说她还很爱他。她说她想把自己增值。她说她很谢谢他。她说了很多。。。那些都是她从失败的感情里，所蜕变出来的新自己。她，在悲伤中重生了。

还记得很久以前，和男友闹翻了。他气了，向我大声了几句，接着就是把气都发泄在衣橱身上了。面对着这一些出轨的态度，一个人独自窝在一旁抽蓄着，心里想着：记忆中，爸爸没骂过我，跟何况是动手打我？唯一有印象的是对我唠叨了几句，那天是因为自己为了减肥而拒绝晚餐。妈妈呢？平时碎碎念，偶尔因为自己的浴室塞满了自己的脏衣服，她才会对我大发雷霆。生气以后，依然烧了热腾腾的菜肴，要我吃了。你说，这样能不肥吗？生我育我的父母，就连骂我都觉得不舍，我怎么甘心，被你如此糟蹋，侮辱。。还要看你脸色，受你的气。我是父母的宝，你却，不珍惜这个爸爸妈妈爱惜的宝。这样，我确实觉得很对不起一直爱我的爸爸妈妈。为什么要让他们这些年来爱惜的，被你如此践踏。纵然，被发泄的只是衣柜，我觉得自己没必要受你这样的暴力恐吓，更没理由要受你对我的大声说话。不是我离不开你，是我给了大家机会，你应该也知道，不是我自夸，虽然我很肥，但市场也还不赖。就算没市场，抱歉，没有你，我也可以很快活。其实你可以那样爱我，是因为我一直懂得爱我自己。爱那些爱我的人。

爱的定义，因人而异。这样的态度，也许我觉得他不爱我了。但如同的情况如果发生在你身上，也许你却还认为他很爱你。甚至告诉自己说，那些都是考验。痛过换回来的幸福，难道真的是幸福吗？那不过是内疚的补偿，这所谓的幸福会长久吗？？你是在逃避，在欺骗自己，还是你没勇气？这是你所谓的爱吗？继续这样的感情比放手更需要勇气，你确定必要把勇气耗在这个人身上吗？你不懂，我们看得见，当你刻意地遮隐那些伤痕。你不懂，我们假装看不见，其实是很心痛。你不懂，我们假装不知道，其实不是没感觉。

但我确实错了，那样静静的，是错的。虽说清官难断家务事，但身为那么多年的朋友，我不怕你说我多事鸡婆，我有责任提醒你，有义务告诉你，这一些。即使你要讨厌我，我不怕，至少，没遗憾；至少，完成了责任。

爱你的人不会让你伤心欲绝，更不会伤害你。你的包容，是在纵容他，他不会了解的。你的溺爱，让他重复错误，他不会觉悟的。你的付出，他不会珍惜，他不会痛改前非的。你的原谅，是让他重复对你的伤害，然后延续悲剧的发生。如果你想要报复，那放手离开，不要回头，才是对他最好的报复。不要让让自己亲手开始这一段悲剧。你绝对可以阻止被伤害，你绝对可以过得更好，你绝对值得更好的对待！别只看到身边的椰树，你知道吗，你的四周，其实围满了森林，森林里好多树，你可以一颗颗地挑，你可以慢慢地挑，你可以细心地选。

暴力，更本不值得任何的原谅，无论是有心或是无心；无论事后给你多少的幸福，多少的补偿。不要说你多爱他，多离不开他。。。不要说你的爱可以感化他。不要。。。。。真的不要。。。。

如果你不爱自己，你不肯爱自己，要别人来如何爱你，而你又怎么去爱别人。

祝福你
请你勇敢地寻找真正给你幸福的 mr. right!

你不知道的事

2010-08-10T23:04:00.002+08:00

i wanna be the girl you laugh with;
the one you cry with;
the one that is always be there for you;
the one who cares;
i wanna be yours.

blah...
so stress man!

:)

2010-08-09T21:18:00.004+08:00

好比好久好久以前
忽然不见了
不是你坏
是我从来都没变过
还是一样傻
不过我很开心因为我没很复杂
如果还有下一次
我依然会选择傻
因为那样很幸福

新张的日本餐厅
没有很贵平民化得很舒服
三文鱼饭很棒很幸福很满足

就是要那样灌输自己很幸福
即使是小小的事情
都要觉得幸福
那就会幸福了

好累
然后我快咳死了